


The Student's Tale

by elen__jaxx



Category: LCDP, La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV), Only Ever Yours, Only Ever Yours - Louise O'Neill, OnlyEverYours, The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood, la casa de papel, lacasadepapel, serquel - Fandom
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst, Blood and Violence, F/F, F/M, Sex, Slow Burn, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:41:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26770813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elen__jaxx/pseuds/elen__jaxx
Summary: Years went by since the fateful virus that kept us from touching, from loving. Finally, all goverments reached an agreement: a glopal educational program, where kids over six are sent to a special school that will teach them how to avoid human contact.Raquel Murillo has been in La Casa de Papel boarding school. This is her last year, when she will finally celebrate the Union Ceremony to find a husband. Teachers are going to explain, at last, the mathematical process that allows us to continue with human life in this planet. She is indeed terrible scared, since only the most beautiful, the most intelligent and the most prepared of her year would have any possibility with the most interesting boys. Of course, she is trying her best to have an oportunity with Alberto Vicuña, since he is a descendant from a very prestigious family bloodline. Rumors say, he even has a house with trees! Trees! Those things only appear in children's fairytales!However, her hopes will crush down when the Union Ceremony gets postponed due to a terrible issue. And that only meant one thing, she had to continue going to the absolutelly dull -and non true whatsoever- classes of her worst nightmare, Professor Marquina.
Relationships: Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote/Tatiana, Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Professor | Sergio Marquina, Nairobi | Ágata Jiménez & Tokyo | Silene Oliveira, Raquel Murillo/Professor | Sergio Marquina
Comments: 84
Kudos: 104





	1. Welcome to the system

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [El Cuento de la Estudiante](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/695032) by Elen__Jaxx. 



> This is obviously a fanfic, inspired in the Dystopian Fiction of Only Ever Yours (Louise O'Neill) and The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood), using the characters and references of La Casa de Papel (Alex Pina). It is a creative exercise with no commercial interest. It would not become a future book. It will be erased if the original authors asked. 
> 
> It is important for you, my dear reader, to know that this fic is quite problematic. First, for the obviously relationship that will appear somewhen later in the fic, with a huge age gap between them. There is no underage relationship, yet for this story to work, they have quite the difference in their years. Look, some relationships like that work perfectly fine with good communication and consent, but please never take a fic as real life or as your moral compass. So many bad things are going to happen here, and their relationship is actually not one of them. There is going to be torture, violence, and the whole enviroment of the story is quite traumatic, with women used practically as objects. Sex is going to be described too. Between the characters is obviously going to be tender and sweet (someday, remember it is a slow burn), but the "sex explanations" and references are going to be unconfortable and WRONG. I will use trigger warnings in all the chapters, but be careful an take care of your mental health.
> 
> You can always read "Contigo" in my wattpad to be happy if you can read in Spanish haha.
> 
> I'll try to update as soon as I can, but please remember that what I post in Ao3 is a translation of what I post on Wattpad.
> 
> Enjoy your stay,
> 
> La Mornigstar.
> 
> PS: You will see some references to the fandom on the story. The content creators in this fandom had agreed and if I add more, i will obviously talk to them first. There is no copy at all, you will only see a wink to my friends. I hope you can catch all the references and I hope you can read my dear and talented partners. They are soooo cool.

>> The prestigious institute “La Casa de Papel” welcomes all you to the last course of your education where, finally, all your dreams will be a reality. After this year, you will be allowed to exit the precinct to create the perfect family you were longing. Since the syllabus of the course is not prepared for your underage peers, you will be separated from them. Nevertheless, we know this is not a problem. You are finally upgraded to the Honor Wing, so each of you will be assigned an individual room, closer to the teacher, since you are closer to be one of them too. Last but not least, lest give a big round applause to the last year’s students!  
  
All of the kids got up their sits in perfect sync to give a short yet efficient applause. Separated by two meters of security distance in that obnoxious hall, every student put their hands on their chests when the profiles were announced on the stage’s screens. Boys were first, of course. They were all sitting in in a podium, lights all on them, to highlight their rank.  
“Angel Rubio” the mechanical voice from the initial discourse started the enumeration. A fat kid got up clumsily and tried to put a straight face, no matter how red her cheeks were already. He was, sadly, last on the ranking, that was why his name was first. On the screen the student could see all her achievements during his last educational years, but the video lasted no more than thirty seconds. A small kid all dress up as an acid rain cloud for the winter’s play, his whole academical report between a six and a seven, and a short video of his last parents’ heritance for his future adult life: a small red car. The kid sat down almost immediately and started cleaning his glasses when the lights went off. He glanced at the backstage, where the girls waited. “I wish…” he thought, “I wish she was there, looking at me, with just a little pride. Just a little.”  
  
Every kid name went up, one by one, getting better at their abilities as names went by. Daniel’s video was precisely one of the longest, since it was full of his combat scenes, wining absolutely all his duels… except the duel against Alberto. The last name provoked several faints among the younger girls, to whom he winked shameless. Alberto Vicuña got up; all chest flexed. He was outstanding: fine muscles, a nice black hair gummed backwards, dark piercing eyes and a devisingly handsome smile. Among all the students, he wore the uniform the best. The black trousers perfectly ironed and fitting his waist, the shinning red of his shirt with the neck lap all upwards. His video lasted six whole minutes; it was the longest of them all. Every year he had six or seven notable achievements: best marks, a new molecular discovery for a biochemical project —in which only the best were accepted, of course—, excellent combat skills, great hunter, better athlete, the fastest of the course, the most accurate, the fearless. You could see him winning all science fairs, creating new procedures to recognise the most wanted criminals… Everybody new that, when the course was finished, Alberto Vicuña was going to have his place reserved in the Scientific Police. He was probably able to discover the identities of The Resistance all by himself.  
  
Finally, the screens showed his old father’s heritance: an enormous house with a swimming pool, with exquisite bedrooms, with servants to cook, clean, massage and adulate… An incalculable fortune, cars, enterprises, everything a normal person could wish for. The lucky woman that could get the Perfect Match or, in other words, the lucky woman who got all the beauty points to match his ranking, would not have to worry about a thing, ever again. She would never have to do women’s duties, such as cooking or ironing, she would only have to give children to the State and take care of her man. She would live the perfect life, surrounded by all wonders.  
  
Then, the fashion show of the women began. One by one they were parading, from backstage to the centre of the room, where they would match the position of the boy to whom they ended closely equal in last year’s ranking. There, the girls would have to get on their knees and lift their heads upon their future husbands. They were all so proud… at least, the lucky women on the middle…. They fixed their black skirts, fixed their head, played with how they wore their red shirts to call the boys attention.  
  
Raquel Murillo was radiant. She got to the first one on the ranking, so she was under Alberto Vicuña’s feet, no less. He saw her and smiled, tongue in his lips already. Something burst inside Raquel’s stomach, but she thought it was just nervousness. If she was able to hold that position, if she did everything right, she would never have to worry in her life. Besides, Alberto Vicuña was actually really handsome, pretty intelligent too. What else she could ask for?  
  
She later fixed her eyes on Alberto’s trousers, because the Bulge of Honour was already up for her. She couldn’t be happier. Not all the girls were gifted with such privilege. When Alberto realized, he tilted his head as a small reverence, bestowing the Bulge of Honour just to her. She bitted her lower lip, all anxious for her first achievement of the course. All cameras filmed that instantly, for the next compilation video. Although she was pretty nervous, she remembered what to do from previous classes. She tilted her head, so Alberto could get her precious pony tail. The kid put on his protection gloves and firmly grasped her golden hair, which got Raquel even more nervous. She got sting eyes. Yes, definitely nervousness, right?  
  
Everyone clapped at the surprising event. Alberto lifted Raquel, so the cameras could get her face. She used that moment to recognize some people between the public: some students from other years clapping for the first Bulge of Honour that they’d ever seen, some teachers clapping too, all proud… all but the newest one. Suddenly, she felt terrible insulted. Why wasn’t him clapping? Who the hell he thought he was? As the name clearly states, this was an Honour, which gave her many points to the ranking. Does he ever know how this works? Did he come from a country with different rules?  
  
Soon she did not care. She went to her new room smiling broadly, knowing her mobile phone would burn with so many messages. She changed the white sheets for the colourful ones in her old bedroom and quickly filled her locker and desk so she could be the first at the dinner room. She had some extra minutes, so she opened the chat which seemed more suitable for the moment, her best friend’s.  
  
Girl, a Bulge of Honour on your first day. You must be proud! Aren’t you?  
  
Hi, Monica. I am so astonished. I have won thousand of points out of nowhere, only due to the official recognition of Vicuña. I don’t even know how to react…  
  
Well, react proudly, of course! You earned it. It is obvious who you are going to end up with, I am so happy for you!  
  
Thanks, I hope you are right.  
  
Yes, yes, yes. You have always been so good, Raquel, it has to have a reward.  
  
Okay… changing more or less to a different topic, though, Do you know what exactly a Budge of Honour is? How does it work?  
  
My goodness, Raquel!!! You are so hash… You cannot ask that kind of thing. Besides, I have no idea, we are not allowed to know.  
  
But… Aren’t you curious?  
  
For the Budge of Honour? You are sometimes a weird girl… We cannot ask ourselves the worthiness of a man’s power, and you know that. They just have something special that comes out to recognise the best candidates, as you know. You should be proud and stop asking. It is dangerous.  
  
Do you think they are going to explain that to us this course?  
  
No idea. I only want them to explain how to make children and have the best marks to do the Perfect Match with Daniel.  
  
So you like Daniel!  
  
You don’t? He is perfect. He seems just the ideal man to protect you from everything. I am obviously aiming high, though not so high as you, hahaha!  
  
The conversation ended not much later, since they had to get to the dinner room early. The girls were choosing their nutrients carefully, controlling every single calorie. Today, Monica chose an apple for lunch. Some other girls laughed, because it was such a risk to take. One apple would get them so fat, although Raquel new she could compensate on the gym. She glanced to the other food options, and later peeked on the boy’s table. They had to be so strong for their own tests, so they could eat whatever they wanted. For a moment, she felt envy piercing through her stomach.  
  
Raquel closed her eyes, remembering how the cake smell throughout all her old mother’s house. Up to her six years of age, she enjoyed Marivi’s cooking skills, something that, no matter how much time passed, she was unable to forget. With that thought in mind she made her first bite to the apple, which curiously coincided with the new teacher passing by. He studied her carefully, as if he new her from somewhere. From where? Raquel had absolutely no idea. She didn’t even care. He was just another teacher, she only had to get his attention in whichever subject he mastered, earn more points, and forget about him as easy as he came. She was, however, quite scared of how oblivious he could be on the House of Paper’s rules; he could really get into her perfect academical report. Yes… he was a disaster. She could tell by how he greeted everyone so clumsily and right after he tried to put his glasses in a perfect position… how they were already. That man was going to be the end of her, wasn’t him? She wished that his subject was easier than the rest…  
  
After lunch, Raquel went immediately to the gym. Being the fastest of the course, she went there the first and got the best training station. She started with some low impact cardio, just walking over the treadmill. However, when the gym started to get a bit crowded, she got to a higher level of inclination and speed, so everyone could see how capable she was. One of the floating cameras was fixed on her by know and suddenly she was breaking news in the whole boarding school. Even the screens on the boy’s rooms highlighted the invincible face of Raquel, who stood outmatched in front of every challenge she was put upon to.  
  
‘You are starting quite well, little Raquel…’ Vicuña whispered, smiling in his bed.  
  
The new one, however, looked once at his screen and went directly into the gym. Raquel Murillo had the face of someone who could endure everything, but he knew exactly what was happening. Her body, in order to give her enough energy and since it didn’t eat enough, was now eating itself.  
  
For the sake of the new one’s anxiety, the gymnasium was completely full. He new that even his “professor” status wasn’t going to get him closer enough, neither on time. The girls had crowed the room, analysing every movement of Raquel. He couldn’t even see the girl face to face, only by looking and those stupid screens. The young woman was sweating, panting. At the end, what was supposed to happen, happened. Raquel stopped abruptly and banged her head to the floor. Everything went dark.  
  
Of course, the screens announced a painful -260 for that faint. Raquel woke up in the infirmary, ashamed of herself, since her outrageous defeat was on repeat on every screen. She touched her eyes, which were in extremely pain. No more than her pride, though. She then discovered a catheter in the back of her hand, and she cursed her luck. She was chained to a serum bag. That was definitely going to mess up with her calories. She was lost.  
  
Furious, she bended to the other side of her bed. She didn’t want to see anything else, but she saw everything. The new one was sitting beside her, reading on of those strange printed books, totally illegal for the girls, very difficult to get for the men. When she saw the author, Einstsomething, it rang a bell. She remembered one of those authors that they studied one year in the “most expensive gifts for your husband” list, and she freaked out. Everything that author created so, so many years ago, was worth a fortune. He probably must have had a perfect score in his educational years in order to afford it, or had a Perfect Match with his wife. He seemed a lucky man.  
  
He seemed an idiot, too. With that stupid brownish hair, longer than the boys were allowed to, very much longer. He had funny, yet stupid, curls on the back of his head and some other bigger ones on his forehead, giving his hear some handsome, yet stupid, volume. Worst was his beard, no doubt here. In high-school, boys were forbidden to grow one. Was it something that only men could do? It was so weird. He didn’t have a lot of hear really, only enough to draw a perfect, yet stupid, jawline, to make him more… She didn’t know how to define it. He was way different than his peers, for sure. When he saw her waking up, he put his forefinger between the pages he was reading, and he used his left-hand thumb to collocate his black pasta glasses he used to read.  
  
‘How you feeling, Mrs Murillo?’ Oh, great. He also had a dark low and stupid voice.  
  
‘Good’ she growled.  
  
‘It does not seem so; your humour is not in sync with your alleged physical state.’  
  
‘What are you saying? I am perfectly fine. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I would like to get back to my duties as soon as possible.'  
  
‘I don’t have to excuse you, Mrs. Murillo’, he snapped his tongue quite insolently. ‘I am not your nurse. However, I could bet your medical prognostic is not going to be pleasurable if you extract the IV Line so soon. You have to rest a couple of days, eat properly and, above all, get some sleep.  
  
‘Why do you care about any of this? I don’t think that you realized, Sir, but rules are pretty clear in this school. I have to continue getting more achievements.  
  
He scratched is chin, not knowing how to answer. It was obvious that the girl needed her score so desperately, no matter the costs. Vicuña’s little brat was first on the ranking, and he wasn’t going to move. There was no human able to convince her otherwise.  
  
Actually, he wanted to leave her alone, to come back to the peace of his long lonely walks through La Casa de Papel aisles. Although he was not kin on sharing his personal space with other people, the order and discipline of the boarding school gave him a bit of pleasure. He liked that there was absolutely no wall with even the smallest scratch, so the prestigious metaphor of the house “of paper”, was always real. It was the campus with the whitest buildings in the whole world, at least comparing with the filth and desperation that waited the kids outside the protection of their school. His needs to keep all under control were obviously smaller in that campus. Yes, definitely better than “the other one”.  
  
‘Mrs. Murillo…’ he decided to intervene after thinking about his peaceful solitude waiting for him afterwards. ‘Let’s make a deal. If you stay here, you recover, I would do whatever I can to compensate the point lost that equals the cost of your rehab. Would you agree to these terms?  
  
The young woman seemed to have her doubts at first. She didn’t like that teacher. His vibes were quite different from the environment of the school. However, she nodded, and crossed her fingers in front of him, accepting his idea. She didn’t realised, though, that this strange teacher lifted his hand to shake hers, since he quickly put it away before no one could realize his mistake.  
‘I hope you get used to La Casa de Papel rules, Sir, or you will be in such trouble.’  
  
‘I hope so as well, Mrs. Murillo…’ he sighted.  
  
‘By the way, how do I call you?’ she asked suddenly, all alarmed by her wits. Something was still so wrong.  
  
‘My name is…’  
  
Both went silent instantly, petrified by what they have just listened. “Urgent call to the Hall Room”, all speakers said. “The score point has been hacked”.  
  
That was enough for Raquel’s mental health. Her future was crashing down by every second. If somebody has hacked the system, all the girls had to go back to a 0 score by default. Those were the rules, even if it was a boy’s fault. Raquel’s all life efforts went down the flush. She was only another student more.  
  
And this was no tale, it was a complete nightmare.


	2. The Worst Class of All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The class is finally going to understand how children are made.  
> It is not what they expected... nor something they would like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for High Sensitive People: They are going to watch a video with non-consent relationship. In our world, that is definitely rape, even though the characters do not recognise it as such. Please, do not read if you can’t handle the description, nor if you cannot separate reality from fiction. I believe the last part of the chapter is a little bit easier to swallow, but once more, do not read if you don’t like to see bad wounds…
> 
> By the way, I am still thinking about the best day to update. Since this is a translation, it will be difficult to follow a good schedule, but I'll try to have new chapters for you on saturdays or mondays. If i am running late, don't you worry. I might have busy weeks on november, but I will keep you updated nonetheless :

The students sat on their sits, always separated from the other girls in the class, of course. Ten minutes had passed since the beginning of New World’s Females class, but it seemed the teacher wasn’t coming.

Raquel, who recently went back to class after her rehab, was absolutely pissed off. While her peers had reached to a higher position in the rankings, she was still at zero due to that stupid faint. She could had stopped rehab way before, but nooo, there they were, those doctors, totally manipulated by that stupid teacher, of course, not allowing her to get more points.

No matter the costs, Raquel had made up her mind to get all the points from that first class. She will ask a lot of questions; she will get the highest mark in all the assignments. She will participate as nobody would, she will prove all why she is the best, why she deserved the Perfect Match with Alberto Vicuña. She was going to ace this.

However, life is not all a bed of roses and, precisely, the late teacher finally appear at their door.

That stupid professor was there, stick to earth, completely paralyzed because he was the attention of all curious looks of the very surprised girls on that classroom. Slowly, he started walking, avoiding all shorts of visual contact. He came to his desk, left his tablets and notes and, at last, he faced the students.

‘Morning’. He used his thumb to put his glasses up. He seemed nervous. ‘Please, forgive my tardiness. I had some troubles to reach here. As you might know, I am the teacher of Reproductive Education for the final year students’. Girls glanced each other, fully excited. Not Raquel. She was looking defiant… to him. ‘You can simply call me Professor.’

‘And you can call me tomorrow, handsome’ Agata whispered, laughing with her peers.

‘I’m sorry?’ he said, voice three tones under the usual.

‘Oh, nothing…’ Agata swallowed while the Professor came closer and closer to her.

Almost a millimetre from each other, and with a low, dark voice, he said:

‘Personal relationships between teachers and students are terminally forbidden. Don’t you ever mock at this, miss Jimenez.

She didn’t know what to answer. She just stood there, completely frightened. First, because the teacher shouldn’t be that close, it was illegal… and, second, for his ability to get into her nerves. He seemed to be just a shy man. Seemed…

She sat down, slowly, without the previous laughter that supported her, because all class was creepily silent right now.

‘Good. Does anybody else want to add something?’ he said.

Class was deadly silent once more.

‘We’ll continue, then. In this class of Educational Reproduction, the syllabus has as a compulsory introduction a video that we must watch today. I am not especially fond of this and, honestly, I wish you weren’t fond of this either. However, if we don’t watch it today, I will definitely loose my job. Before we start, does anybody here suffer from anxiety or depression? Is anybody highly sensitive?

The girls looked confused.

‘Professor…’ Silene called, raising up her hand. ‘We don’t know what that means…’

The professor gape at her, but quickly shacked his head and asked no more questions.

‘It’s okay. I would like to ask for your forgiveness first, ladies. I am afraid that my hands are tied. Of course, please, have no fear to ask for a personal tutorial if you need to discuss this topic in private. It will be a pleasure to talk with all of you.’

Raquel realized there was something strange in his voice. Apparently, he was calmed and serious. But there was something… like if his voice cracked, at list for a millisecond. As if there was really something bad in that video.

All girls new they will finally watch the introductory video of Educational Reproduction in their last year of school, it did not take them by surprise. They were actually waiting eagerly for that moment. It was as if he did not know anything about this, as if he did not know about their customs… the…. the institutional law. That video was not weird. It wasn’t even bad, right?

A light crossed the screen, taking her out of her head, banning her from reaching to any conclusion so far.

Girls saw, proudly, how the president’s wife appeared in the screen. They were all so happy, because it was impossible to miss those thick lips and that blonde and wavy hair. That video, updated from last year, had the president’s wife with a bigger pair of boobs than in the video they saw some years ago, where she herself explained how to use make up to be more attractive for men.

‘My dear future…’ the president’s wife smiled, showing her shinny golden teeth. ‘You are going to give us the best of the best. You are going to be the most prepared women to refill earth with the most handsome men, you will save our country.’

The girls smiled. They seemed ready. Raquel was also going to smile proudly, but she found the cold and disappointed looks of the Professor, and any smile was quickly erased from her face.

Something was wrong in her stomach. It seemed as if, somehow, her guts were able to connect with that man’s expressions. Suddenly she felt numb and very, very nervous.

She peeked the screen once more, finding something she wasn’t expecting.

A young man was fully naked in front of the cameras. She posed proudly whereas the president’s wife hold something between his legs as she began to explain.

‘This is the Bulge of Honour, my dear ladies. It is part of your future husbands’ bodies’, something that, as we have always been doing, we must venerate. ‘

Raquel listened how her peers commented that she was the first one ever to get a Bulge of Honour in the first Ceremony, so she lifted her chest, all proud.

‘If you are a Perfect Match for your husbands, this tool will get harder and a little bit bigger, and with that you could create sweet little men inside your stomachs’

Raquel gazed at the Professor. He had his eyebrows almost crossed, not believing what his eyes were seeing.

‘It is very important and your sole duty to take care of this tool. Any time your husband asks, if you want to make sure your future children grow big and strong, you have to move the tool like this.’

The woman used her thumb and index finger to make a ring around the tool, and started to pull the skin down, only to move it upwards later.

Raquel looked at her teacher once more. He was now pulling a nauseating face. He seemed unconfortable with this. Can it be possible that the video is not completely right? Or was he wrong? Of course, they should venerate the Bulge of Honour, it is the most important thing in order to have kids. Nothing else mattered. Nothing…

She focused into the screen once more. The woman had now her mouth full with the tool that before today hidden the Bulge of Honour, and Raquel bent over, not looking anymore. Something in her guts told her that was so intimate for a married woman over forty to be doing to a twenty-year-old boy. Something was wrong.

The Professor sighted, and his hand went directly to his temble.

But the video went on, now in a new room. There was a girl on the bed, with her face covered with a balaclava. She was upside down, giving her back to the camaras, showing her ass.

The woman lifted it and started to explain the lower zone of her body. She first said that, if we wanted to earn more points on the rankings, we should have it all shaved. Luckily, since they were all in their last year, they were granted such a great discount for it. She later said that women used one hole to go to the bathroom and the other, so secretly hidden because it was a monthly shame, was used to make the babies.

The president’s wife didn’t explain anything about the shameful secret, women had enough to be the centre of all mocks regarding what day of the month it was. Raquel looked once more at the Professor, but he already had covered his eyes with the hand that was before on his temple, and basically was crushing his eyeballs, all nervous.

Since she was only looking at him, she could only hear the scream of the girl that was on the bed. She turned his head quickly, and then she discovered the young man using his tool inside of her. The act that should have been “of honour” and so, so important, traumatized her.

After five long minutes, the kid stopped, and the girls all saw how, from that women, a strange white and sticky fluid leaked out from the shameful hole, all mixed up with an awful lot of blood. It was similar to one of the secret days of the month, but awfully more painful.

The president’s wife acknowledge all girls in the world that collaborated “voluntary” to give more children to the State and finally explained that, after nine months, the girl in the video will bring a new boy to this world.

And that was expected from all of us.

The screen went black, leaving the class deadly silent.

Raquel discovered the professor’s red eyes, how his whole body tensed, how his breathing was unstable and how he tried so hard to disguise all his body reactions’.

Agata went up, all dizzy, and she couldn’t reach to the door when she started throwing up. Silene quickly went after her, tissue in her hand, trying to help.

‘Professor’ she bravely spoke, ‘can I take Agata to the bathroom? Please…’

The teacher only nodded. Girls went out, and he slowly sat down in his desk, with his looks all lost in the floor.

It was so difficult to face the class after that moment. Girls were all mute. That wasn’t what they expected. Nobody expected this.

‘Okey…’ he said, carefully. ‘Any questions?’

All hands raised up, all but Raquel’s. She was completely frozen. All her attempts to be the best of her class had fade away.

‘Does it always hurt?’ one girl asked.

The Professor swallowed.

‘Yes’ he said with half of his voice.

‘Why the woman had her face covered?’

‘Because she is not important’ he answered, with his voice all frozen. ‘The act is what matters.’

‘How many times we must do it?’

‘During all your fertile days’

‘That much?’

‘Yes.’

Girls went all silent again. The professor decided to write something in his notes to give them time to recover. Only when Agata and Silene went back, he lifted his head.

‘Better, Miss Jimenez?’

She nodded, a bit lost yet, and sat down without giving any explanations.

Then, with the whole class again, he took some air, and said something they never expected him to day:

‘You should not allow this.’

All girls looked at him, not believing his words. Inside Raquel, a red alert started to sound loudly. She knew that, with that sole sentence, he was risking everything. With any luck, he would get fired, and she could go back to her efforts to get the Perfect Match with Alberto.

‘I’m sorry??’ Monica asked, all confused. ‘When I get my Perfect Match with Daniel, I will do it all times he needs.’

‘Okay’. He quickly got up. ‘So, you like Daniel, don’t you?

She nodded.

‘Good. Now, let’s imagine that, after the hack to the point system, you have no time to get back to your initial points that matched Daniel’s. Imagine that you end up with any other kids with less points. With Angel, for instance. Or with Arturo. Would you like to make some kids to Arturo?

Monica swallowed. She felt her stomach in her head, that thought was truly nauseating.

‘I despise that man’ she admitted.

‘Well, statistics are not in your favour, Monica.’

‘Don’t you say that…’

‘Look…’ the Professor said, scratching his nose bridge. ‘I don’t know if this is even possible, if this would bring you tons of problems in the future. However, at least you should be able to say no. Your life is going to be very shitty to even bear with being touched like that, all right? Just say no.

‘…but’ One of the girls wanted to argue, but the professor allowed no more questions, and made all of them get outside the class earlier.

‘Silene, Agata, you both stay here. I want to comment you something in private.’

In the halls, the rest of the girls started to comment on the video. They were pretty confused, horrified, for sure. But customs and education made a hole in their hearts too and, slowly, they started to assume that it was what they were meant to do. That was their duties, and for sure it wasn’t that bad as it seemed in the video. They just needed to get used to it.

Monica agreed, but Raquel didn’t say a word. She stayed behind and when all the girls disappeared, she went back to class, sticking her ear to the door.

‘That should have been legal all along…’ she heard the professor tell.

‘But it’s not. We are fucked up. Oh, we are so fucked up’ said Silene.

‘Did someone see you?’

She didn’t hear an answer.

‘Okay’ he continued. ‘Just go along like you were doing. Avoid that as much as possible, at least for a few days, so you are not suspicious of anything.’

Steps reached the front door, so Raquel run in hiding. With her heart in her fists, she put her back on the lockers and, slowly, turned her head to them.

Agata had reached the professor’s body as if it was a life jacket. Her partner was weeping uncontrollably, wetting the professors brown sweater that he wore above a formal white shirt and his black tie.

Raquel could not believe her eyes. That was terminally forbidden. Agata was screwing everything up. She was screwing everything up so, so much. She had her hands on his sweater as if nothing else ever existed, with her nails almost inside his shoulders. If she continued crying like that, she would definitely get caught.

Silene was able to get her far from him. The three of them looked then at each other; professor was also about to cry.

‘I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. Go, go now before someone sees you. Please.’

They followed different paths, and Raquel had to act normal with all the uncomfortable feelings she had under her skin when she crossed with him again.

‘Miss Murillo, how is your rehab going?’

‘It’s bad, professor, sir’ she answered quickly. ‘I am still at zero for you. Weren’t you going to give me points if I finished the whole rehab?’

‘I didn’t see you winning my respects for me to grant you more points today. There are still some days for you to surprise me, though. Now, if you allow me…’ he disappeared without finishing their argument, leaving Raquel full of rage.

And, with those feelings in her stomach, she went directly to the principal’s.

Next morning, she woke up with the sound she was waiting all night long. It was the Model Punishment Alarm.

There has passed two weeks since one of those, people seemed to behave, but they all knew that a small mistake was enough for a Model Punishment, so it took no one by surprise.

Students and teachers glanced down through their windows.

‘For all ears… ‘ he said with a metallic voice, ‘ Salvador Martí had made a mistake.’

Raquel observed the show. They had Salvador down to his knees, hold by two strong teachers. The teacher that had the microphone explained that, since he was new, they understood that his punishment had to be fair and not so strong as the others, since he needed time to adapt to La Casa de Papel rules. Nevertheless, teaching the girls something scientifically impossible, as it was telling them that they can neglect a Reproductive Relationship, was not part of the legalities of the boarding school. Thus, he had to face his punishment.

Only a second later, that teacher ripped off his shirt, showing his naked back to all.

First piercing scream went out from Salvador’s lips directly to Raquel’s inner brain. She had never listened anyone scream so hard, trying to hide his tears. From her room, which was on the fourth floor, she could perfectly see the reddish mark con Salvador’s back.

The second whip sounded as if somebody was reaping off a peace of leader. But it was only the pinkish and soft human skin on his back, which opened to the second hit, bleeding unstoppable.

Then the third whip ceme. Then the fourth, and finally the fifth.

They let go of Salvador, who crushed down the floor, and the teacher with the microphone asked everybody to humbly continue with their duties, remembering that his actions were bad, and their actions were good.

Nobody came to help him. Raquel was unable to move from her bedroom, but she was the last one to look from her window.

After long, exasperating minutes, Salvador finally got up, all by himself, and slowly came back into the building.

Raquel listened him reach to his bedroom, near her own, almost fifteen minutes later. Afraid and terribly sorry, she wanted to help. However, she listened to a phone conversation that got her even more frightened than before.

‘Yes, yes. I know who it was. Don’t. It’s fine. I know what I have to do. Please, just come to the school. I need to heal this shit, and nobody else is going to help me. I only have you. I need you, Andrés. Yes, I will face her immediately. But, please, come to me. If I continue bleeding, there would be no resistance at all.’


	3. Three thousand points

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raquel tries to make it up for Sergio. We will know a bit more of the unfair world they are living in, whereas Raquel thinks how to get herself to the highest positions of the raking.

Salvador didn’t come to class that day, nor the next one. Thus, Raquel felt terribly responsible, and terribly sorry. She only wanted to do things right. It was her duty to tell them if something was wrong… and Salvador was wrong. She couldn’t stop thinking about him. About how stupid it was what he did. About his stupid beard. She was sure he deserved it.

The punishment, of course. Not his beard. That had nothing to do with this.

After a few days, Raquel gathered some strength and made him a visit. His bedroom door was mid-open that late evening. All lights were off. Was he sleeping?

She knocked smoothly anyways. Nobody answered. Then she adventured herself inside, carrying all the stuff she had gathered to help him with the healing process.

Undoubtfully, a teacher’s room was way bigger than a student’s. He had something on his walls, something colourful. It seemed very personal, handmade. She could see pictures of things that do not exist anymore, like trees and flowers, all product of children’s imagination. Then she came closer to his bed, all messy. There was no one around. She left her things on it and sat for a second, just thinking.

Something was clearly odd. His sheets smelled… weird. It was a good scent, though. It was… how could she tell? How the smell on an idiotic man’s sheets could calm her down completely?

Her fears came back as soon as she realized there actually was one light on, in the bathroom. Water falling down the sink was now a clear sound, but it soon faded away. Raquel, all scared, tried to hide from him, but she didn’t succeed.

Salvador went off the bathroom, with a white towel on his waist, and found the girl trembling at the edge of his bed.

Raquel did not know if she was shacking due to fear of being caught of for how nervous that man could get her in a second, with no logical explanation whatsoever.

He had his hair all wet, water dripping down his cheeks, his nose, his lips. He was steaming, of course. Something inside Raquel’s mind told her that his body could burst into flames at any second even though he was just all wet, and Raquel could not understand why that thought just occurred to her. He had wide shoulders, a strong chest, defined abs. Her eyes followed the fine lines on his body almost by instinct, looking how his waist bones were visibly clear, how his whole body shinned with water.

‘Do you see something you like, Miss Murillo’ he said, surprisingly calm.

‘W-what…?’ she answered, still lost in her thoughts.

‘Might I know the reason why you are invading my personal space?’

‘Oh, yes…’ she shacked her head. ‘I am so sorry. I did call, but you didn’t answer so…’

‘If I don’t answer, it’s because I don’t want to be bothered. Too many absurdities you are being taught but this school forgets to teach human decency and respect. Are all schools like this?’

‘I’m so sorry…’ she looked down. ‘I … I got something for you. To heal your wounds on your back. If you want…’

Shadows crossed Salvador’s face. Memories were still very much awake under his skin, and his back hurt just by thinking about it.

‘I don’t need it. I got help before’ he said, dead serious.

‘Your… your brother?

‘How…? Pf, I don’t care.’ He pulled a boring face. ‘Go away, Miss Murillo. I am not fond of any conversation with you.’

‘I’ve already said I am sorry…’ she muttered.

‘You are sorry for entering my room with no permission or for something else?’ He crossed his eyebrows.

She did not answer at first. Both caught each other’s eyes, both full of fire, until the professor mumbled something, all bored, and decided to sit by her side.

‘Be careful. It is still a very sensitive zone.’

Raquel nodded, and started to study the mess he carried as a back. Between the defined muscles he had two long wounds —very badly sewed up, in her opinion—, and some bruises that never opened.

Very carefully, she touched one of the wounds with her index and middle fingers, which made Salvador flinch.

‘It hurts that much?’ she muttered.

‘You have absolutely no idea’ he smiled.

Raquel started then to clean his wounds, all moved by the seriousness of every bruise.

‘I am so sorry…’ she tried to say.

‘It is okay. Did you bring some medicines, at least?’ he changed the topic.

‘I have some iron supplements because I thought… you know, with all that blood lost…’ she stammered. ‘And, and a couple of anti-inflammatory drugs.’

‘Good. That was very clever of you, Miss Murillo. Please, bring me that glass of water, please.’ He pointed to his nightstand. 

Raquel stood up. When she was picking up the glass, she saw the first drawer a bit open. Inside, besides two different passports, there was a… a…

The girl swallowed hard and flinched two steps backwards. However, when she gave him the glass of water, she humbly smiled, so he would not notice.

‘That would be all, Miss Murillo’ he pointed at the door.

‘Y-yes…’

She picked up her things and left. No far from the door, she listened the bedroom locks. It was official: he really despised visits.

Or he even hated her, she thought.

Her mind spined with the idea that it was possible the professor felt nothing but rage towards her, so she came back grumbling to her bedroom. Yes. It was all true. He hated her.

‘Well, you know what, “professor sir”? I hate you too!!’ She punched her pillow.

However, she stopped that relieving beating the minute she found herself sitting with the pillow between her legs, because she was really starting to imagine Salvador underneath her.

With the same tenderness she touched his wounds, she started caressing the pillow, thinking her fingers were on his face, going down his neck, his muscles. There was no doubt he was stronger than Alberto. Way stronger.

Not even thinking about it, her hips moved freely against the pillow. For a second, there was no hate. For a second, instinctively, she felt okay. She felt in peace. She closed her eyes, and left her breathing fly with her body.

It didn’t last long. She realized that what she was doing was bad. She has been taught not to touch anything with… with that. That was shameful, it could only be used to go to the bathroom and now… now to make babies too.

The video abused her mind once more, with the screams of that poor woman piercing her eyes. What the hell was she doing? Why something that hurts so much fells so good? She stopped immediately, and hide herself under the blankets. After all, she was no more than a scared kid. And the world that expected was bigger than she was. Way bigger.

She did not want any kids. She did not want to bear Alberto’s children, nor anyone’s. She was not ready to suffer as the video girl did.

It was, however, her only duty. And she had to do it, whether she liked it or not.

As much as it was her duty to tell the principal what she had seen in Salvador’s nightstand. Her teacher was hiding a gun.

——

Far from the boarding school, underneath the city sewers’ , an elegant man on a three piece suit smiled at the scruffy man that had just come.

He had his tie all but tied, and his brown tweed full of mud, but he came, nonetheless.

His face also lighted up with a big smile, and both gave each other a warm and completely illegal hug.

The younger complained, though, fuelling thus the older teasing’s.

‘Little brother… I thought you could handle your pain a bit better, after all those years there…’

‘One never imagines that a lethal virus could be less painful that a public torture, Andres’ he smiled, still in pain.

‘Come on, lift up your shirt, let me see.’

‘No’. He gestured, trying then to have some space between them. ‘Somebody already cleaned my wounds today.’

‘Was it her?’

The man nodded.

‘Sergio, my dear. When are you going to confess to her that she is not part of this crazy ass world? That she is the key?’

‘They are all important there, Andres, don’t fuck with me.’

‘Yes, but none of those girls is able to save the others, don’t you think?’

Sergio muted and decided to sit closer to his brother, looking for his warm.

‘She… she is a brash, Andres. She is reckless, dangerous, and has made up her mind when it comes to the grading system. She would not open her mind. She wants her Perfect Match with a bully, and she has been for so long in all that shit that she will never… she will never understand that there is other possibility.’

‘Wow, you speak so enthusiastically about her. Did she grow fond on you?’

‘Sop fucking around. She is just a girl. And she is responsible for all the shit I have on my back.’

‘Then punish her, Sergio. Aren’t you her teacher? Don’t all girls need some education?’ he smiled, showing all his piercing teeth.

‘Are you going to patronize them too, Andres? Don’t be so stupid! I believe you and I learnt to be better than that when I was sick, don’t you think?’

‘Sergio, hold your fucking horses.’

‘Oh, now you want me to keep calm? Listen, we have to save an ungrateful little urchin, and in that process, I might die. You might die too. And the nightmare of your boyfriend. And I have to use all my attention in a little brat, when the other girls desperately need my help.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Silene Oliveira and Agata Jimenez. They are both in serious trouble.’

——

Raquel appeared in Monica’s room with a smile from ear to ear. The poor girl still had rheum in her eyes when she opened the door in her unicorn pyjamas, but Raquel was a ball of energy.

She had a camera in her hands, and Monica did not want to know why. She invited her in, and start talking.

‘Are you sure of this, Raquel? It is very, very daring…’

‘Yes, Monica, you just follow me up. We have to appeal to boys, don’t we? No matter the costs. Well, I bet Alberto has never seen a whole woman’s body. I am going to show him I am more than a pretty face.’

‘A pretty body?’ she hesitated.

‘Exactly. And now stay still whereas I dress up with my new lingerie.’

Monica did the photoshoot. They had so many perfect pictures: how Raquel showed her curves with the suspenders, her hands tied up in front of her boobs, the naked line of her spine… They edited the images while laughing out loud, gathering a fantastic album.

It went directly to Alberto Vicuña’s archives. It went directly to give her the best position on the ranking again.

And it did.

Next morning, she woke up with three thousand points in the ranking. She was the first, far away from the second position, even. A few simple pictures were enough to win.

Her pictures, that wonderful idea that just occurred to her after hitting —and doing something else with— her pillow, were now in every hall. All screens were showing them.

She noticed the laughter, the insults, how everybody judged her, how all girls hated her, how all boys touched where there should be a bulge of honour an said out loud what they were going to do to her.

Every step she took, a memory of the video came, and she felt utterly overwhelmed.

She wanted to say she was sorry, she wanted to cry to Alberto and ask him to remove the pictures, but it was too late. Everyone has seen them.

Even him.

‘Please, Miss Murillo. Come as soon as possible to my office.’


	4. Huge mistake I've made...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Professor explains to Raquel the problematics of her errors. She has a new opportunity to prove her worth. Once again, she surprises everybody.

The sound of silence was way more painful than a rebuke, that a little time of annoyance or pulling a disappointing face, from his part. It was, simply saying: horrifying.

Salvador was just there, sitting behind his desk, with a brownish envelope in front of him, with a scared girl wriggling in her chair, out of pure anxiety.

And he did not say a word.

He had a serious face, dark expression, but nothing came out of his lips.

‘I’m sorry…’ she finally said, practically inaudible for human eyes.

He just opened the envelope, but did not take out the content.

‘Did you know this was in every office?’

She swallowed.

‘In… every…. office?’

He simply nodded.

‘I’m sorry…’ she repeated, looking down her feet.

He nodded once more, assuming Raquel had no idea of what had really happened.

‘Do you know what is inside?’

‘You don’t?’

‘I did not want to open it, but I can imagine.’

She was unable to look at his eyes. She had her knees up to her chest and was holding on to them almost in a foetal position, trying to cover her whole body.

‘I really didn’t expect…’

‘You didn’t expect, what?’ he said authoritatively, ‘that Alberto was going to fuck up your life? That this type of material spreads better than a virus?’

Scared of his voice, Raquel quickly noticed how her eyes started to get really wet.

‘Tell me, miss Murillo, for I am not yet to comprehend, what short of gibberish do you have in your head? Have you got any idea of what this means? Of the problems that it might follow?’

‘I’ve said I am sorry!’ she screamed, whereas two anxious tears run down her checks.

Salvador retreated from his quarrel. He put his back on the chair again and decided to be quiet for a moment. Pretty tired now, he caressed his temples and closed his eyes.

‘Raquel… ‘he said later, lowering his tone.

Now it was the girl who couldn’t answer. She had buried her head on her knees, and she was unable to stop her tears running down her face.

‘Ey, Raquel…’

The Professor sighted and, carefully, he came a bit closer.

‘Don’t touch me…’ she wept. ‘It is forbidden…’

‘C’mon, that is rubbish. You touched my back a few days ago, remember? And you are perfectly fine, you know that. Please, don’t be scared.’

‘Shut up! It is forbidden! Those are the rules!’

Salvador took her by her chin, lifting her face, completely oblivious to her commands. She looked away. One simple touch made her weep even more.

‘Raquel… look at me, please…’

She finally dared to face his piercing eyes. He really had a worried face, almost soften by her tears.

‘Don’t you understand?’ she whispered. ‘I don’t want _anyone_ to touch me, _ever._ I don’t want it to happen. I am so, so scared, Salva. I can’t handle it. Please, please, I beg you, don’t you ever dare to touch me again.’

Salvador took a few steps back, finally realizing the huge mistake he’s made. Raquel was not scared of the virus. She didn’t seem like that type of girl who could get scared easily. In fact, it was nothing like that. She was quite strong, quite clever. She perfectly knew that something about the social distance rule was odd.

The idiot, nonetheless, was him. All her pictures were in all the boarding school’s screens. All girls were witnesses of her audacity, and they new no better than to behave as they have been taught: no sisterhood, just destroy each other. In one short strike, she lost all her friends. Boys did not know any better either, since they have been taught that the female body was their birth-right. Now that they had seen Raquel’s…

‘I really didn’t know… I’ve never thought…’ she finally mumbled, after a while.

‘No’ he interrupted. ‘It’s ok, Raquel, I understand. Please, forgive my manners.’

‘Since when we are using each other’s first names?’ she weakly was able to pull a short smile, quite contagious in Salvador’s lips.

‘Only for today. When you go outside my office, you will be back to being Miss Murillo, deal?’

Raquel nodded.

‘I needed my points, Salva. I won’t have any future if I don’t do my _Perfect Match_. I don’t know from which school you are from…’ she cleaned her runny nose with the fringe of her red shirt. ‘Things have always been this way.’

Salvador gave her a tissue, and she started blowing her nose and cleaning her cheeks rather impatient.

‘I am so sorry… I feel so ashamed, crying like this. If someone sees you crying, they rest you like a hundred points… Nobody likes a crying girl.’

‘How many points are rested from the boys’ rankings?’ he asked.

‘The boys? Oh, no. They don’t have the ability to cry.

Salvador now swallowed.

‘You really believe that…’

‘You don’t? C’mon, man. Now you’ll say you have cried before. A man’s anatomy is different, professor, don’t try to confuse me. I got an A in that exam. It’s pure science.’

‘I suppose anything I’ll say would fall on deaf ears, right?’ he gave her a painful smile.

She nodded, but something in her stomach made her all confused from that conversation.

‘Raquel…’ The professor played with the envelop, not daring to take its content out. His long fingers and his big hands seemed to hide some excellent coordination skills. In fact, Raquel discovered something weird in his fingertips, like, something hard. She has never seen anything like it. What was he doing with his life to have such kind of “wounds” in his fingers?’

‘I’m sorry for what happened’ she interrupted him. ‘For what they did to you, I mean. I am so sorry.’

‘What the hell does that have to do with our current situation? Weren’t we talking about _your_ problem?

‘It is _my problem_. It was what I had to do. You understand it… right?’ The professor, with a rude expression, nodded just once. ‘What happens is that… well, I’ve never imagined they would do _that._ I thought they were just going to freeze your incomes, or have some short of stain on your records, to explain to you that those type of things… that you cannot do… well, that.

Salvador did not know what to answer. He presumed that Raquel’s apology came the other night, with her trying to heal his wounds. Well, his wounds were still very much alive, even more when he remembered the whips. However, he never imagined she had that inside. The ability to see the problem. If she only went a bit deeper… only a bit…

‘Well, apologies accepted, Raquel. I appreciate your effort. But it is better to forget about the incident. You and I both. I am currently worried about the pictures. Did someone… assault you, somehow?’

‘Well…Only in the alleys. I know the girls hate me. And boys always have their hands on their pants whenever they see me. They say awful things, like that video… I am actually very scared…’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Why?’

‘Fir the video. I suppose I also had awful responsibilities to obey and couldn’t assume that the consequences would have been worst for you than for me. That is not the truth about sex, Raquel. But it is a world to me to even began to explain anything without you guys thinking I am insane. Or that you want to use my back as a fighting field again… ‘he sighted.

Curiously enough, instead of freaking out, Raquel felt the urge to know a bit more.

‘Do you really believe in all of this?’

‘Well, truth is I am scared to answer honestly, Raquel. I don’t have any more spaces in my back to open, if you know what I mean.’

She pulled a smile, although her stomach was clearly giving her guiltily feelings.

‘It won’t happen again.’

‘I would be very grateful…’

‘But don’t you tempt me. The rules are the rules.’

‘Rules are just an agreement between members of a society, Raquel. If we would ever reach to an agreement again, how many rules do you think we could change?’

She swallowed once more. Clearly, he was the reason she was getting out of words…

‘Without seeing those photos…’ she changed the topic again, ‘Do you think I am attractive enough to have a good position on the rankings?’

‘Since when my opinion is important for that? Or anyone’s opinion, for the matter? It has to be important for you, no one else.’

‘Well, you teachers give out the points and, … and…’ Raquel’s face went white.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked, quite worried about her sudden mood swing.

‘The teachers give out the points’ he said, dead serious.’

‘Yes, but…’

‘You haven’t seen the pictures, right? Promise me.’

‘No, I didn’t. However, it was quite impossible to avoid the screens, I am so sorry. But I have not opened the envelope until you came to my office. I still do not want so see them, if that worries you’ he handled her the envelope. ‘Those are yours.’

Raquel took it, hands all shaking.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘I know this question might cross the line but… do you… do you know which teacher might have any special interest in those photos?’

‘Ehm…’ Salvador put his glasses up with his index and thumb. ‘Not really. I don’t get along with the other teachers.’

She nodded and got up, ready to run away full of rage again.

‘Tell me this is not some short of vengeance’ she said between her teeth, near the doorstep.

‘A vengeance for what?’

‘For the whipping.’

‘Raquel, we already agreed that…’

‘Then I just don’t get it. Only teachers can give away points, not Alberto. If Alberto went to ask for points for me after seeing the pictures, those photos must have reached to a teacher… and that is the one who did that to me. If it was you, I swear I am going to tell everybody what do you hide under your nightstand, professor’ she filled with sarcasm the last word.

And thus, the professor’s face came back to a cold expression again.

‘Very well. Please do it, if you find it convenient. Then, I will gladly inform the school who healed my wounds. Remember, touching other people is forbidden by law, Miss Murillo’ he threatened her.

The girl couldn’t stand it anymore, and went out leaving a huge bang on the door behind, which made his heart skip a beat.

The man, after banging his head against his desk, went to his wardrobe, opening it quite angry.

‘Look at me! Such a man in love with such nice feminine bodies, and I’ve just came out! From the closet, though, but you get the point.’

Sergio looked at his brother and he honestly thought he was better dead on that hospital floor than with his stupid comments. He has just hidden him to talk with Raquel, but he rather preferred him to stay in the closet. Literally.

Andres just laughed, whereas he stretched out a bit his back and neck.

‘Wow, such a wild animal you’ve got for a student. Was that my future sister in law?’

‘What the fuck is wrong with you, Andres? He said, very upset about his observation.

‘Well, I am so sorry, darling, but I swear I can cut the sexual tension with my bare fingers…’ he gestured right in front Sergio’s face.

‘Stop fucking around for once’ he gruntled.

‘C’mon, Sergio! Give me a smile, would you?’ he crushed his cheeks, to the desperation of his brother.

‘Would you care to sit down, please?’ he pointed to the chair in front of his desk. ‘We have a lot to plan forward.’

Andres obeyed, but tremendously slowly. He got comfy on his chair, gesturing all along with his hands like a posh gentleman, making Sergio’s eyes roll in despair.

‘Good. Let’s start. The attack to the rankings was very clever from young Cortés part’ Sergio said, ‘but not enough to get her out without risking our positions.’

‘And what do you suggest, brother mine?’ he raised an eyebrow.

‘We are going to attack the school. Physically. I am so done with computers.’

—

Raquel went out with her ears burning up. She run down La Casa de Papel’s alley’s not noticing anyone else anymore, but with a clear path in mind. With a clear objective, for sure.

However, a fat boy crossed her way, making them both hit the floor.

‘What the hell are you doing, Angel? Are you an idiot?’

Their peers laughed at the scene, pointing out the looser of the system, and obviously commenting about the slutty Raquel. She understood then that the pictures were going to be a viral topic for a long while.

‘I am so sorry, Raquel, please forgive me’ he mumbled, while taking his glasses.

‘Well, it’s okay…’ she relaxed a bit. Angel was her only friend apart from Monica and, giving her current reputation, she did not want to risk losing him out a tantrum. Besides, it was better not to insist. Now everybody has seen them, they will have to go to the infirmary, to make sure their contact was safe, that they hade not passed the Ancient Virus to each other. So frustrating, for sure. ‘Where were you going to fast?’

‘Actually, I wanted to talk to you.’

‘Me?’

‘Yes…, the thing is, well, there is a party…’

‘A party? Since when? It’s not any politician’s birthday, not until next month, and we are not allowed to celebrate anything else in the boarding school…’

‘I know, I know…’ he quickly answered. ‘But this one is special. It seems it is custom for last year’s students and since we are now part of the Wing of Honour, we can talk about it without the other kids sticking their noses in. The thing is… well, it is only knowledge for our course... but it happens every year, for sure. They give us a house from the borders of the school, and we can celebrate that we only need one year to be full members of the society…’ he scratched his head.

‘and what are your intentions?’ she asked impatiently.

‘Well I would…. The thing is…. Girls are only allowed to come if a boy invites them, and I would like to know if you would want… well…’

‘What, Angel?’

‘Leave it alone’ a lower voice interrupted them. ‘Don’t you see he is just a looser, Raquel?’

She bitted her lips and slowly turned around.

‘C’mon, Angel. A fine woman such as Raquel would only come to the party with real men. Move over.’

There he was, Alberto. With his dark shiny hair, the slightly opened school shirt, pulling some muscles over. Although, Raquel realized, for her first time ever, that he had not the most attractive body she has ever seen. Not anymore, though…

‘What do you say, Raquel? Would you come to the party with me? We will make such an excellent couple. The whole school is going to talk about it for years’ he used his most charming smile.

Raquel kindly smiled, she was definitely going to accept. In fact, she lifted her hands and, in that fraction of a second, all the school expected the usual gesture they do to accept any proposition, but…

Raquel’s fingers closed into a fist, that ended up full of blood from the fountain that Alberto’s nose was now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ey! I am having so much fun writing this! November comes and "i think" I am gonna have a short job during that month, so it's gonna be a bit difficult for me to upload on schedule, but I sure would try my best.
> 
> Please, comment whatever you please and if you want to give some kudos, I will be more than happy!!! Thanks for everything!!


	5. The X Factor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Torture Trigger Warning. 

Her chest felt as if a dagger was piercing her onto her back. She couldn’t breath properly, she felt dizzy. She hadn’t felt that way since Salvador gave him that tissue… or since she dared to touch him.

This feeling was quite different, though. This feeling had a logical explanation: she was in serious trouble. Whereas they took some blood examples from her to check if she got the Ancient Virus, everybody else was trying to stop blood from pouring out Alberto’s nose. 

She could listen to his screams at the other side of the infirmary. He was swearing he wasn’t able to breath, that she killed him, that she will definitely pay for this.

And she would, for sure she would. One of the scariest teachers ever appeared to question her, to make every fibre of her body shiver with fear.

They handcuffed Raquel onto a chair and left her there for hours. She could listen to the electricity drive throughout the room, water running through the pipes, remembering her how thirsty she was and how bad she needed to go to the toilet.

But she entered the room.

‘Miss Sierra…’ Raquel swallowed.

The teacher did not answer at first. She touched her prominent belly and, almost bored, she sat in front of her.

‘My little Raquel… How big you’ve grown! When was the last time we saw each other, darling?’

It didn’t feel as a tender voice, not as a cute pet name. That way of calling her was nauseating. 

She still remembers the worst day of her life. Her mother, Mariví, used to leave her alone in their home, even though she was just a little kid. However, it never bothered Raquel, because she was way proud of her mum: Mariví worked on the hospital center.

Every night, she had a new story of the kids Mariví helped to save. Raquel, so full of wonder, wrote to all the children, wishing them the best, so they would never feel alone. Some kids even wrote back!

However, it was not all hope and wonder, since she was so afraid of the outcome of one of the teenagers at the hospital. He always answered her letters, giving her a lot of drawings and sketches. He told her about the outside world. He told her about the hospital too, and everything he felt. How bad he wanted to be free, to make the world a better place.

Since she never saw more than her house, his letters made her stomach flutter. She believed she had a friend. X, or at least that is how he signed, promised her that, if he survived the Ancient Virus, he would come to rescue her, directly to her own doorstep. Before September began, before school began. They would run away together, to that place where fairy tales still had the mysterious trees, where the night sky wasn’t all black, but full of small bright lights.

What else could she believe in? She was just a kid. During that time, she was still allowed to believe in fairy tales. She still had hope. Every night, she thought about that teenager. X had many names in her head, many different faces. Still, he was what every little girl would dream of: her own prince charming. 

That fateful day, whereas her mum was taking care of X, she decided to do the stupidest thing ever: she took her clothes, her dolls and, of course, every letter from X, and put them all in a suitcase. She was definitely going to meet her prince charming, before they took her away for ever.

Just the night before, her mum was pretty mad at her. She said that, since the letters became so intimate, she will not send more. Everything was going too fast, and she could not love someone so much older than her. As a mother, she was extremely worried.

Raquel cried and cried until tiredness put her to sleep. She only wanted to meet X, to say thank you for all the hopes she had during those dark days.

Her mom came back very early in the morning, all messed up, crying a river. She held her kid onto her chest, giving her the tightest hug whereas she closed the door with the tip of her foot, so no one in that neighbourhood would notice that, in their home, they were still able to love.

‘Your.. your friend…’ Marivi stammered, unable to find the exact words.

‘What’s wrong?’ Raquel feared even more.

‘You have to forget him, all right? He does not exist. Don’t tell anyone. Don’t tell at school. Those letters? Never existed.

Raquel’s eyes blurred in an instant. She was trying so hard not to cry, that her eyes went very, very red.

‘I hate you! You don’t allow me to have friends! You don’t allow me to do anything! You don’t allow me to love!’ she threw her biggest tantrum at her.

Mariví swallowed her tears and hugged her even tighter to calm her down.

‘He is dead, my girl…’ she said afterwards. ‘That boy is dead. He does not exist. That is why the best for you is to forget.’

Raquel trembled with tears. She could not say a word. Her limbs were numb, her body so tired, her chest still in pain with tears and screams.

After a while, Mariví took her by the shoulders, to look her deep in her eyes.

‘Raquel, my love. You have to be strong now. Do you promise? Do you promise you are going to be very brave now?

She rubbed her eyes with her fists and slowly nodded.

‘Good. Now, hide! Don’t make any noise, don’t breathe, don’t move. Quick, now!’ she pushed her.

However, that “now” came late. Police put the door down and… she entered the room.

Alicia Sierra, a few years younger, was standing there, triumphant. She deeply breathed, adjusted her reddish ponytail, moved her chupa-chups to the other side of her mouth and laughed.

‘My little Raquel… How big you’ve grown!’ her words came back onto the present.

From that point onwards, Raquel’s memory only retained blurred scenes, but that frightened her too:

Police taking down her mother. Alicia laughing whereas she cried. That woman stepping on her knees, smiling, saying: ‘Raquel, don’t be sad. You’ll soon be a woman. We are going to take you to school, at last! And then, to marriage. This is what everybody expects from you.’

Years later, the same person that took her away from her mum was there again, imprisoning her once more.

The only difference was her mind. She now knew that she had to give children to the State, she had to be the best at the rankings, to have the best husband. That was her only duty. And, the normal thing to do, the logical thing to do, is stop being a kid at six years old. Because that is the moment when all kids grow older. Because that was the only reality.

‘ _ Right?’  _ her head shyly started to wonder.

‘Raquel, my little princess. Do you know that what you did was very, very wrong?’

She nodded, unable to look at her eyes.

‘Tell me, why did you do that? It is fairly obvious that Alberto couldn’t provoke something like this, he is our best student. So… tell me, why? Are you part of that terrorist cell?’

‘What? No!’ she felt insulted. ‘I would never be part of the Resistance!’

After that word, a shot of electricity burned her spine, makin the girl scream in pain.

‘What the fuck was that!?’ she complained, at the edge of her breaht.

‘That, is the consequence of your words. I didn’t like how you said “Resistance” instead of terrorists.’

Both women listened how someone was practically punching the door down. 

‘I’m not available right now, please come later’ the teacher said. ‘Shall we continue?’

‘Miss Sierra, it was a mistake, I didn’t mean that…’ Raquel shut her words with another scream. 

‘Do you know what the punishment is for what you did?’

They listened to the hits on the door once more, but Sierra kept ignoring them.

‘It’s a Modal Punishment, little Raquel. At the schoolyard. In front of everybody.’

Raquel tried to hide one nervous tear, but her shirt got wet anyways.

‘It would be fifteen whips, Raquel, to your open back.’

Raquel remembered Salvador screaming so hard, so full of pain. She remembered how, even him, so big and strong, fainted. And that was only a shy number of five whips.

‘Please, don’t do this to me…’ she weeped.

Before Sierra could answer, the door was already broken. 

At the other side, Raquel found her saviour. How funny it was to realize that his name was the spanish translation for that word.

‘Sierra, I want to talk with you. Alone.’

She never got mad. She only smiled, as if she was waiting for that moment. 

They left her, still crying, still tied to the chair. She only realized then all the wires on the floor. The electroshock? It came from there! It was so unfair, since all the chairs the students used for a tutorial with their teachers were quite similar...Do all have the same system?

When Sierra came back, Raquel finally stopped crying. Now, she was full of rage. She burned her with her eyes, but Sierra didn’t flinch. A girl like her would never be enough for a shark like Sierra. The woman just changed the position of her chupa-chups agan, and untied her. 

‘Go to your room, little child.’

‘But…’

Sierra didn’t allow any conversation. She pushed her off, leaving Raquel extremely confused. Alberto was at the door, just waiting. Their eyes crossed the same path and, since Raquel was still pretty mad, she fueled her eyes with rage against him.

The kid’s legs shaked and, completely scared, he went hiding inside Sierra’s office.

When they were alone, Alicia asked a special favour from young Vicuña.

‘Take pen and paper’ she said, creepily smiling. ‘Don’t you worry, my sweet Alberto. I will help you to marry Raquel. And those beautiful pictures you showed me…, she will give you that every week, you’ll see. Everything is gonna be alright.’ She ruffled his hair.

On the other side of the school, Raquel stayed wide awake all night. She was so scared of the dawn, that she never closed her eyes, trying so hard to bend time so she could avoid that torture. 

She moved in her bed, tangled with the sheets… Out of exhaustion, she shyly closed her eyes, but she woke up in less than twenty minutes due to a nightmare that made her body sweat an ocean.

However, when she opened her eyes, the sun was already out.

Raquel’s heart jumped, she took a deep breath and waited for any teacher to knock at her door, to take her to her Modal Punishment. Probably, she thought, Alicia was going to come here. She wouldn’t miss this for the world.

Nevertheless, to grow her desperation a bit more, nobody came.

After some long painful minutes, she listened to a metallic voice coming out of the speakers of La Casa de Papel. 

‘For all ears…’

Raquel’s head imploded with a piercing “NO” sounding even at the back of her head.

‘...Salvador Martí has made a mistake.’

Raquel pulled her hair, all anxious, at the edge of crying herself out again.

‘No, no, no, no…, please, tell me this is not true…, no, no…

She peeked at the window, and saw how Salvador was striped half naked, again.

‘Salva!!!’ she screamed, all in fear, already crying.

He turned around and saw her at her window, face all full of worry.

Hoping she would get the clue, he put his finger in his lips and tried to give her a warm smile to calm her down. It must have been a disaster, because he was too very scared.

Raquel understood and hid behind the window, muffling her mouth with her hand, so no one could hear her scream. He was right: it was better for them if no one noticed their feelings. Nobody likes a girl who cries. Nor a girl who worries about the man who has just saved her life.

‘You guys are going way far from the line’ he complained to one of the teachers, seeing how they changed the one string whip for a two-strings. 

‘I’m sorry, Salva’ the other teacher tried to find an excuse. ‘Rules are the rules. If it was for her, we will use only one string. But you made her hit a student on purpose. That is manipulation, and we do not allow manipulation in here. So two strings it is.’

‘Of course…’ he nodded with irony while kneeling down. ‘At least, make it fast. Will you?’

That teacher agreed.

His first scream needed no microphones to be heard, although he was able to stop it by biting his lip as hard as he could. Oh, he wasn’t going to give them that show. They would have to try their best if they wanted to see him suffer again.

Even though he was trying not to scream, Raquel covered her ears with her hands. She was so heartbroken. It didn’t matter if Salva tried to hold it, he finally went crying again, every time more and more piercing.

She was counting down… they were going fast, but not as fast as she wished.

At number ten, Salva stopped his screams.

Raquel, slowly, peeked through the window again. He wasn’t responding. His body only moved with every impact, but he wasn’t conscious.

She hid again and cleared her tears, but couldn’t stop repeating herself that they were killing him.

They left him on the floor like a piece of trash. He had an uncomfortable position, but more uncomfortable was his back: it was so full with blood that she couldn’t distinguish the open wounds.

‘Salva, Salva, please… wake up…’ she said, voice all cracked.

What was that she was feeling? She hated that man. He could rot in hell. And, nevertheless, she was about to cry again, for all it was done to him, because he saved her from that awful fate, because she thought he was dying, because she couldn’t bear to see him suffer, because she couldn’t bear to lose him.

As it happened the last time she healed him, she forgot touching was illegal. In fact, she needed to touch him, to know he was okay. To notice if his skin still had some warm, if she could find his pulse.

And she did. Very weak, but she did, just underneath his ear, in the arteries of his neck.

‘Salva, please, wake up…’

The girl tried to pull him by his arm, but he weighed too much for her strength. She even succeeded in putting herself under his body to push him from the floor, but it was in vain. She couldn’t move him. Not alone.

She finally decided that it was best for him if she rushed onto the nursery to get anything she could steal to heal him, and she doubted no longer.

However, when she came back, she had to hide behind the trash cans.

Two men were there, they were actually moving him! But they were also taking him away from her.

Raquel gathered all the bravery she could and, pulling a scalpel, she fighted them:

‘Leave him, you idiots! If you don’t… If you don’t, I swear that the real blood you are going to see will be on your necks! Leave him, now!’

One of the men simply smiled, but the other could only mock at her cracked voice.

‘Who the hell is this girl? Are you lost, chica?’

‘Just leave him. I am not going to allow you to hurt him again’ she said, but her voice wasn’t holding on, and she sounded just as the little girl she was. ‘I’m not going to say it twice!’ 

‘This… is  _ her’  _ the quiet man said.

‘Ah, conche, the young lady… Tell me, are you so idiota that you can’t realize how fucked up his life is because of you? By the way, this other idiota weighs like a deadman.’ 

Raquel bit her lips, not knowing what to say.

‘We are taking him to his room’ the other said. ‘Come with us, I don’t know how to sew him up.’

They finally could put Salvador into a safe position in his bed, so he could still breath while they healed him. The three of them cleaned his wounds, binded up his back, closed all his open wounds, which weren’t a few.

Raquel filled him with antiseptics, disinfected every corner, sewed the most severe cuts, that were, no doubt, more than the last time. She never understood how she was able to do all that with her eyes all blurry with tears.

‘He… he is going to be okay, right?’ she asked, very concerned.

He didn’t want to answer.

Raquel realized then that both men were holding hands, as if that gesture wasn’t important.

‘Why… why are you holding hands?’ she asked, all lost.

‘No mames, because we love each other, idiota’ the other said, with his funny accent.

‘But…’

‘But what? Two men cannot love each other? Are you going to bother us with that little speech too?’

‘But the thing is that…’

She said no more. The other man easily silenced her with only his looks. Like that, all serious… he was very scary. 

‘I want you to go, Raquel. Your sole existence is destroying my brother, and I am not going to pass through that. You can play, you can laugh with him or be mad at him, fuck him if you wish! But every minute you are with him, he is in danger. And nobody touches my little brother, do you understand? I will gladly give my life for him before they even dare to touch him. However, it seems that, with you, I cannot protect him. Hence, please, just go. And never bother him again. Do you understand, kid? Never.

Raquel wanted to fight back. She was about to punch him, but her hand stood still.

Salvador, deep in his slumber, took Raquel’s hand.

The older man sighted:

‘All right, come tomorrow, if you wish’ he angrily said. ‘But now, please, go. How many classes have you lost? If you get in trouble again and this idiotic prince charming tries to get you out…

In that very moment, Salvador shifted.

They all went to help him, but his eyes were still close. It all seemed part of a bad dream.

‘Ágata and Silene… you… you must help them…’

He fainted again, worrying his only three friends to death.

‘What’s wrong with my classmates?’ she asked, very concerned.

‘Nothing is wrong. We will handle this. Now, go!’

Still mad, she came back to her room. It was so late to get back to class, so she pretended to be sick. She would have less points on the rankings tomorrow, but it was the least she could do.

All fear, however, quickly faded away. It was changed by the most warming ray of hope she could have ever felt. 

She had a letter at her doorstep and, when she opened it, her heart melted:

_ “I am alive. I am with you. _

_ X.” _


	6. I did it for you, you idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not always agree with what Raquel thinks. Please, being touched with consent is super cool and liking the same sex too. 
> 
> Sorry I am late :(
> 
> By the way, I am having such painful menstrual cramps. Today comments are absolutely appreciated. Pretty please. I don't want to die.

In the morning, Raquel went straight to the point-meter. As expected, she had lost seven hundred points for being sick. A pretty girl cannot allow herself having the flu or anything remotely similar. Even if she was faking it.

She came back to class in a slumber. She was in another world, studying her classmates. There was a reason for so many distractions: yesterday, she found a note, signed as her long lost friend used to do. 

In other words, her only friend, at least until she came to school. Then she started having a good relationship with Angel, later with Mónica… But she wasn’t social enough. Everyone knew her, for sure, Who does not know the girl that has always been on the top of the rankings? It would be a crime not to hang up with her, and she knew that too. That is why she was so sure none of her friendships was truly pure. 

That explained too why she was holding on to the memory of better days during her childhood.

Days during last year of school were always different, and every second she found herself discovering something new.

Once it was that traumatic video, another day was knowing last year’s students can have a party, other being so sure she can hit as hard as a boy, other… Him.

She was in class, yes, but her mind was wandering above the clouds. She started her day making sure no second will pass by without her looking for X. However, her mind landed on Salvador’s memory. She couldn’t stop repeating the words of that strange man, that was so pissed off, but still he held Salvador’s brother’s hand like nothing else existed in this world. He said he did that because… because they loved each other.

But that was not okay, wasn’t it? First of all, they were men. That is obviously impossible. Two men cannot be… what? Husband and husband? How silly. How can they even make children for the State? A man hasn’t got that in his body. A woman does. Then again, a woman cannot be with another woman for the same reason. A man is necessary for making the children.

Besides, How could they try to do it? It just… it doesn’t work. Reproduction… sex, was it? Whatever. They cannot do  _ that,  _ as it was explained in the video, they don’t…

_ -That is not the reality of sex, Raquel- _

Salvador’s voice came back to her head, together with the memory of getting fresh out of the shower. She has never seen a man in such circumstances before. It was, no doubt, very indecorous. Thank god no one on the point system new about that… nor what happened right after their fight.

She didn’t understand it. She didn’t understand it  _ at all.  _ Arguing with him warmed every centimetre of her skin. It was like an overdose of adrenaline that always asked for more. Her heart rushed as much as when she received new mail from X, but those new sensations couldn’t be calmed down after screaming out of happiness in her childhood room. 

Only once she could control that mixture of feelings but… but that was wrong. It was illegal and so nauseating. Because, a woman cannot use  _ that  _ for other things more than going to the toilet and make children for the State. There were no more options.

‘Raquel!’

She shook her head, all lost, and came back to reality.

‘Wh-what?’

‘Were you paying attention?’ Her teacher asked.

‘Eh, yes, of course, mam.’

‘Oh, really?’ She lifted her head, not believing a word she said, but looking forward to seeing her failing. ‘Could you repeat it to your partners, please?’

Raquel bit her lower lip.

‘Yes.’

‘Yes?’

She shook her head again.

‘And why aren’t you doing it right now?’

‘Ah, yes, of course…’ She clumsily got up. ‘Well, as we all understood… the…’

What class was that? Raquel thought, trying to tie the knots. They had blue images on the tablets. Something about the ocean? Are you sure?

‘Life at sea is so vast and…’

Ángel discretely lifted his tablet. He had zoomed an image about the layers of the ocean, and was tapping the last one with his index.

‘There are so many kilometres of water that...ah! Light does not reach underneath! That is!’ Raquel noticed how the teacher was already pissed off and tried to control her enthusiasm to avoid any more trouble. ‘So there are many species that we do not know, because we cannot explore so deep.’

‘Very good, Raquel. Now, please sit down.’

Raquel sighted, at last.

But she didn’t want to finish there.

‘Teacher! I do have a question.’ She raised her hand, as the teacher’s pet she had always been.

Until now.

‘Please, tell.’

‘So, if we cannot explore so deep… can the ocean be filled with monsters?’

The teacher mocked at Raquel with a tremendous laugh and nodded. 

‘Monsters do not exist, Raquel.’

‘You don’t know that. You don’t know what there is underneath the surface.’

She got her partners attention once more. Some girls covered their mouths, some boys laughed… Only Angel and Monica were worried. 

The teacher, on the other hand, was dead serious.

‘Don’t you ever try to talk to me like that again, Miss Murillo.’

So, that was it. She was pissed, and that was the only moment when she used her surname, or that “Miss” that always sounded so silly. On the other hand, Salvador used that name all the time. Only once he said her real name, only once. Was that because he was always angry with her? Raquel, step by step, started to see her path a bit clearer, but didn’t stop in her personal quarrel in the current conversation.

‘I’m only saying that monsters do need to exist, because we don’t know what is underneath. Don’t you think that monsters exist? Aren’t you scared?’

‘Are you scared of something? Because, losing all your points for this conversation doesn’t seem to scare you enough.’ She crossed her arms.

‘No, of course not. But I am afraid of the monsters. Like… like that boy in the reproduction video. He was hurting that girl, wasn’t he? Or… Or like the president’s wife. She is so scary. Haven’t you seen her? She has an awful horrifying smile. As horrifying as… as…’

Now she had all eyes pointing at her, now she has just started that sentence, she couldn't leave it mid-hanging. She lost the trail of her words and wasn’t able to think that, maybe, Salvador would do another idiotic idea of him to… well, to save her.

‘As Alicia Sierra. She is the real monster. She is a witch.’

You couldn’t hear a fly in that class, you truly couldn’t. Only Raquel’s breath was noticeable, since she was panting in terror whereas her teacher’s eyebrows crossed angrier per second. 

‘I cannot bear with you any longer! Say goodbye to all your points, Raquel. And to avoid any comebacks of yours, you are expelled for a week! If I see you outside your room, if you put your feet in any class or in any other facility, be sure your chance to find a husband will be definitely over. You will end up alone, like an useless housekeeper! Are you hearing me? You useless girl? Out of my class, now!’

It wasn’t Salvador this time, but the bell rang in that very moment and Raquel felt that, in some magical way, he rescued her once more.

‘Don’t worry, teacher, I was already leaving.’ She smiled.

No one dared to cross paths with her now. She made such a terrible mistake and there was no soul that wished to lose their points just for being near Raquel Murillo.

Except, of course, Ángel. He was the last on the rankings and, first time ever --and maybe for the long haul--, he was at the same level as the girl of his dreams.

‘What you did today… wow, it was insane?’ He humbly smiled.

‘Yeah, well, it was nothing. I finally have time to, I don’t know, rearrange my makeup, or whatever girls do these days. Ey, Angel, you were so kind to me today. Why did you risk it to help me with the answer?’

‘Because you are my friend?’ he shrugged.

Raquel stopped in front of the lockers, took a long breath and asked:

‘Can we really be friends? Are you my real friend?’

‘Of course, Raquel, don’t you ever doubt that.’

Without looking at him, she started picking up her things, leaving him with a weird confusion on his face.

‘Well… I will need a friend to talk to during this punishment. Look, I broke my phone, but I am going to take one new from the technology room before the teacher signs my expulsion. The thing is… I don’t have anybodies’ number… Would you mind giving me yours again? Please…’

Raquel’s sweet voice was enough to make him nervous, so he clumsily took a pen out, throwing its top to the floor.

‘Sorry…’ he picked it up, hearing Raquel’s kind laughter.

‘It’s okay…’

‘Here it is’. He got up. ‘Where do I write it?’

‘Well, not in my notes. I need to have them all clear and nice in case they want to review them. My arm would do, I can shower later and no one will see.’

‘But, Raquel, we cannot touch each other…’

‘Then you will have to be extremely careful, don’t you think?’ She offered her forearm.

Angel, fingers all sweaty, was finally able to write his number down. 

‘Put your name as well.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I am gonna ask Monica later, you silly, and I don’t want to get the numbers wrong.’

‘Ah, okay…’

He obeyed once more. Raquel couldn’t stop smiling. Boys can be so ignorant, sometimes… she thought.

Angel went off, and in his place Raquel found another classmate, with a dark voice a little more scarier than the last one.

‘You are indeed a rebel girl, aren’t you?’

‘Hi, Alberto…’ She turned, picking her hair shyly.

‘Now you have some free time to come to my party.’ He invited her with a very intentional smile.

‘I don’t know…’ she doubted. ‘Maybe I should take this opportunity and study to get higher points, or I would never have a chance to…’

‘To be with me?’

‘Don’t be so egocentric.’ She frowned. ‘I have yet to forgive you for what you did to me.’

‘We didn’t get a chance to talk, Raquel. D’you really believe I would be so mean to publish your pictures? It wasn’t me, Raquel. Somebody hacked my computer. But, I don’t want you to worry, because I am already on an open investigation. You know I do this better than everybody. I will soon know who did it, and I am going to avenge you. 

‘Are you serious?’

For a moment there, Raquel was full of happiness. If it wasn’t Alberto, things could change drastically. She could leave behind that much anger and frustration. She could get her points back. She could have a chance and… if he wanted to help her… Would that mean he feels the same way?

‘Of course I am serious, Raquel’ He touched his chest. ‘I swear on everything I hold dear: my only goal is for us to be happy together. I’ve been dreaming about this since we were kids. I don’t want you to get hurt.’

‘I… i don’t know what to say…’

‘Don’t say a word. Come to my party. I might be able to get the culprit then. Are you in?’

‘Yeah, I am. I didn`t… I didn’t know you thought that way… I am so sorry for that punch…’ She felt ashamed.

‘It’s ok. I like rebel girls, as I said. See you!’

‘Ey, wait!’ She stopped him before he left for his training.

‘Yes?’ He turned around.

‘Do you know where Silene and Agata might be?’ she said, remembering those were the only words Salva could say last night. ‘I haven’t seen them in a while, I am a bit worried.

‘No idea, but don’t think about it that much. If they have been expelled, for sure they would come to my party, like you are. Right? We’ll see them there.’

She didn’t know why, but Raquel felt all cold after that conversation, even though Alberto was more than ready to fuck the life of whomever published those pictures.

She shook her head, took her things and went straight to her room.

There she rested her eyes for a while. She had time to think and be sure of what she wanted to do next. All she really wanted was to find X identity and had a little ray of hope when Angel saved her, even though she got in trouble no matter what.

Angel wasn’t really an explendid match, she never imagined to be with him… but it was a safe route. He was worried about her, and tried to protect her. Now she had no points, ending up with him wasn’t that bad plan. She would despise having his children, it was truly nauseating but… Shouldn’t she just agree with low standards? She didn’t know what was she expecting, but took X letter and checked it’s calligraphy with Angel’s name on her arm. 

Vowels were a bit different, no doubt there. That wasn’t his hand. What should she believe now? Should she be sad because X wasn’t the boy that spent his life thinking about her? Or being happy because, precisely, X wasn’t Angel? Because he was no husband material…

Whatever it happened, she had no escape. She wished for Alberto to tell the actual truth this time, because he would go back to be the dreamy boy, the envy of the school… She would only have to think about getting her points back. She had all the time in the world but, for now, she had to use that free time for its initial goal. She didn't lose her future for being so naive. It was the only way to be closer with anybody looking for her. 

After making sure there was no activity in the rooms, Raquel took a box from under her bed and, making no sound, went off.

‘Hello?’ she whispered, after knocking the door a few times. ‘Mister… eh… Mister Salvador’s brother? Mister Marti? Can I… Can I go in?’

Nobody answered, so she entered the room anyways.

‘Hello?’ she whispered again, holding the box closer to her chest.

‘How many times do i have to tell you that if I do not verbally allow you in my room it is because you are not allowed to enter, Miss Murillo?’

Raquel smiled. His angry voice should have made her uncomfortable, but she was so used to it by now that it made her happy just to hear him again. With his “Miss Murillo”s and even.

‘I see you are getting better.’

‘Go away, I am busy’ he said from the bed, quickly covering his body.

Raquel got closer and tried to pull the blankets off. He growled, but let her do whatever she pleased. Sighting, he showed her what he was covering up: the blankets were all full of blood again.

‘Don’t worry. It goes away with some peroxide.’

‘How do you know that?’

Raquel shrugged. 

‘Because I am a clever girl’ she mocked at him. ‘Now, turn around. You lost some stitches, I am going to clean you up and see if I can fix that.’

Salva growled again, but left his back all for the taking. She opened her box full of nursery items --very stolen nursery items-- and started cleaning his back.

‘Au!’

‘You are a child, Salva, I am just disinfecting a small wound. And you can take real whips?’

He couldn’t take them, that was the problem. That was why he fainted. He couldn’t bear with his soul, had no strength to talk. But hearing her talk… oh, that was so nice. 

‘Au!’ he complained again, a bit more unrealistic this time. 

Raquel covered her mouth with her hand to hide a short laughter but Salva, even backwards, noticed anyways. He had to bury his head on the pillow so she wouldn’t see how his cheeks were literally burning after hearing her.

‘You have to stay still, Salva, please. It will be better for you if you help me heal you, okay?’

‘How do you know so much about healing?’

‘What? Don’t you trust my nursing skills?’

He complained again, moving unconsciously, so Raquel, tired of his attitude, sat on the edge of his back, having there a better position to inmobilice him with her inner thighs. 

‘Don’t dare to move. I am gonna sew your stitches again. If you complain, it would be worse for you than for me.’

He took a deep breath and tried to think in anything but that moment. At least, she was focused enough to realice…

‘Due to my mother, if you are interested. The healing skills, or whatever you might call this. They do not allow us to be with our paps much, did you know? At the age of six, we are separated. But I chose to remember. It’s my way of loving her.

‘That is so cruel…’

‘What? Remembering my mum?’

‘No, that is good. It is so cute and brave, for your part. But I mean to separate you from her. All kids need their parents…’

‘That is not what the law says…’

He didn’t answer. Raquel started to understand that he wasn’t going to communicate if she talked about that, so she tried another thing:

‘Did you share your childhood with your parents?’

‘Only with my dad. My mum died when I was a baby. But my dad stood with me as long as the let him.’

‘Until your sixth birthday?’

‘A bit longer.’ He smiled.

‘And why did you say that they let him?’

‘He got in trouble and… well, he isn’t here anymore.’

He hugged the pillow harder. Raquel noticed how his whole body tensed, and understood that some secrets were better in the dark. She knew too that there were some wounds her hands couldn’t heal, no matter how much she tried.

Unconsciously, she stopped cleaning his physical wounds and used her index finger to caress his spine, very, very slowly. She had never done that before, it was obviously forbidden… But she knew that, when she was sad, all she always wanted was to have someone to touch her, to bring her back to the living. She had always felt ashamed about it. Because she had so many intrusive thoughts, almost insane thoughts, of looking for human contact. So weird. Right?

Now she felt she could do precisely that. To bring someone back to reality. Far away from the sadness anyone could drown into if they were alone. 

‘I am so sorry, Salva’ she continued caressing his back, slowly, until she reached his waist.

His skin felt so alive at the bare contact. That… that wasn’t a wound. It seemed as if he got colder for her touch, but his back was burning, no sight of pale colours. 

She stopped so abruptly. Her mind came back to that time she felt so…

_ Free,  _ a voice in her head thought, remembering how it felt to imagine Salvador between her legs, when all she had was her pillow.

_ Disgusted,  _ her rational mind thought, after realizing what she had done. It was so dirty, so shameful… and she had him anyways. He has been between her legs for a long time now, because she was trying to avoid any more movements from his part. She didn’t notice what she had done. Or what it meant. Until now. 

‘SorryIvejustfinished…’ Her tongue twisted as she flew to the other side of her bead, putting some distance between them.

Salva sighted and, tired, got up to dress up his upper half.

‘I… I am going to leave the bottle of peroxide here. So you can clean your sheets…’

‘You can leave everything here’ 

_ You can leave yourself here too,  _ he thought.

‘Nobody is going to search in my bedroom’ he continued. ‘Maybe they would come to your room.’

She nodded. He was right. He was always right, no matter how crazy he sounds.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked.

‘What? Eh…, yes, yes. Why?’

He studied her. She was a bit out of herself after getting up, but she still peeked at his waist every now and then, only to shake her head afterwards and nag her for what she was doing.

‘I didn’t mind, okay? Stay calm.’

‘What?’

‘Your… your way of healing me. It was… nice.’ He smiled. ‘I also needed that. It is okay, all right? You didn’t do anything wrong.’

‘I did lot’s of things wrong’. Her face darkened. 

‘What do you mean?’

‘Nothing. It does not matter.’

‘Raquel…’

Again. He was using her name again. Why? When he became so soft? It was when she stopped healing his wounds to… to actually touch him? Can a simple touch be so anesthetic? 

‘I’ve been expelled for a week.’

‘What the hell are you doing, Miss Murillo?’ he moved his whole arms out of despair.

So that was it. Calmness lasted a bit. Raquel noted to touch him more often, no matter how illegal that was. Maybe he would be kinder then. Anyways, she was committing so many crimes… For one more…

‘Don’t get mad. The punishment is all mine. Please, don’t get involved. I did this for you, you idiot.’

‘Why would you get expelled for me? Are you insane?’ His voice was disturbed. Lower, scarier. His eyebrows where all frowned and his eyes were a bit disappointed. It was enough to light the spark.

‘First of all’. She pointed at him with her finger, really angry. ‘This way I can help you to gather information about Agata and Silene. Aren’t you worried about those girls too, you sick bastard? I am going to help you, and I don’t care what you say, you pig. Second,’ 

Oh, great. Now her eyes were all wet. Where were all those tears coming from? How frustrating it was to argue with him…

‘I got expelled to come and heal you every day. Do you understand, you asshole? This way, nobody will be looking for me, and you won’t be bleeding out every day. But, since you are so kind and thankful, I will be better studying in my room, don’t you think?’

‘Yes, go!’ he shouted while the girl got closer to the door. ‘You are so reckless, don’t you see you are fucking everything up? You are insane, that might be it.’ He finished at the edge of the door, but even closer to her face, all burning in anger.

Raquel could feel the panting breathing of that man so close to her lips, but her own anger didn’t show how scared she was at that moment. She looked at his lips unconsciously, although it might have been rage what grew in her lower belly and went upwards her body, because she pushed him away with a painful hit.

‘Fuck you, Salva’. She banged the door.

However, her back was still stuck to the door, and he did the same with his forehead, trying to breath.

After a few painful seconds, Raquel thought she was unstable, because Salva had just shyly opened the door.

‘Come back tomorrow, please’ he whispered, closing it afterwards.

A smile grew on Raquel’s face. 


	7. Glory hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: please, do not read if you are not ready to see violent images about non consensual sex. I would recomend then to reach to the end of the chapter. Although, if you are still here, i bet you can handle it. Anyways, if there is any HSP here, I am so sorry. I’m myself one of those, I am still wondering why the fu** I write these kind of things. 

The expected day finally came. All students were so excited for Last’s Year Party. The honour couple was in charge of the organization; it would have been Raquel’s responsibility but, since she drastically lost all her points again, Monica found herself all surprised to be Alberto’s Perfect Match, so she had to organize the party as well.

That didn’t stop the rebellious student Raquel had become to make a little illegal trip to the party too. After all, What would they think of her? She had a responsibility. Besides, Alberto had promised to reveal who posted her pictures and, obviously, to avenge her. And she was so willing to see what happens…

She used a simple make up, that nonetheless pointed out the most beautiful parts of her face. Some brown shadows, dark eyeliner and the highlights she adored. She spent all evening doing her hair: all long, blonde and wavy. Her outfit was finished with an outstanding and far revealing red dress, and matched stilettos.

Obviously, Raquel wasn’t going to arrive soon that night. Only the wretched would come at time. If she made everyone wait, precisely everyone would notice her, as if she was a real star.

The moment came as she calculated. She went to the houses at the boarding school’s peripheria, walking with care since she was a bit afraid to fall down, and finally she found the yard, full of shiny lights.

She was walking quite slowly, that is why at the beginning, nobody noticed her, except for Angel, who came quickly to say hi. However, someone was faster. 

‘Raquel Murillo… You are...Outstanding.’

Alberto smiled showing all his tusks. He was wearing a smart blue suit, and rebel hair. However, everything was done on purpose: his carefree hair was full of gel, getting his black curls in order. 

‘Invitations, please’ one of the boys said. He used a black suit, a bit informal for her taste.

‘Move’ Alberto pushed him away. ‘She is with me.’

‘But, man, you are with Monica now…’

‘I said she is with me now, do you understand?’ Both boys glanced at each other daringly. The “vigilante” finally stepped back, looking shyly at his feet, leaving a mid smile of satisfaction in Vicuña’s face. 

Raquel couldn’t stop her wonder. Alberto prepared her a full honours welcome. Electronic music changed to a better dancing rhythm, he made everyone toast with alcohol nobody knew where he got it, and in his short speech he couldn’t stop admiring Raquel’s beauty, Raquel’s intelligence, Raquel’s skills… saying, one time after another, that their children would be very handsome.

She didn’t know if she should feel proud or embarrassed. All her glances were towards Monica, who matched her points with Alberto. Raquel thought she might be jealous, but luckily she didn’t show that. All she wanted was to get her Perfect Match with Daniel again. Precisely him, out of rage for the sudden change in the rankings, didn’t want to come, which cost him a few more points.

Besides, there were still two students nobody knew of: Agata and Silene.

Suddenly, they disappeared from classes, from social gathering, from everywhere. Raquel expected to find them there, that is why she asked Alberto the second she had the opportunity. 

His answer, however, was quite depressing:

‘Raquel, please! Now is not the time’ he smiled. ‘Just have fun! Did you finish your drink? Please, have another, I will get one specially made for you.’

Must have been the effects of her last drink, which she didn’t expect at all, but she wanted to drink more. It was the first time she did it as the elders did, she had to celebrate it. Thus, she stopped looking for them. Another drink wouldn’t hurt anyone.

After dancing for a while, she was confident enough to ask for a second time.

‘Alberto’ she said with a serious voice. ‘You said you knew who published my pictures. I want to know.

The boy was sitting on the sofa with his legs wide open. She raised an eyebrow, and looked insolently.

‘You are not going to like the answer, Raquel, you better forget. Another drink?’

‘No.’ She crossed her arms. ‘I want to know it. Now.’ She used her best authoritative voice she could find.

‘Very well.’

Alberto rose up, followed by the funny laughters of his peers. With a hand gesture he had them all quiet, preparing the room.

‘Friends, brothers…’ he started. ‘We are gathered here today for a very special occasion. Nonetheless, before the commemoration of the ladies’ he gave them a playful wink, ‘and the commemoration of the men’ he looked at them as if they all shared a secret language, ‘we have to make the expulsion.’

‘Expulsion? What's that?’ a shy girl asked.

‘I’m so glad you ask, my dear friend. You see, this party is very special for the boys, because in our commemoration we will learn how to be a man. Obviously, you ladies have to be treated as such, none of you deserve an expulsion. However, men share a code of honour. And one of you here among us, has broken it. 

Alberto went silent, enjoying the chaos he’s just provoked. Insults were flying off, others wanted to defend themselves, everyone felt alluded. After a while, he continued:

‘Just shut up, you idiots! It is obvious that one of you does not understand that exposing a lady has awful consequences. Especially if that lady is already taken. You’ve broken the code of honour, not only fucking up my future wife, but me too. Her private pictures, exposed to the whole school, are nothing but a trick to mark her as a prostitute. And what happens to me? To my status? Are you going to think I am a nobody marrying a cunt?

‘But, Alberto… you don’t have the same points she has…’ Another one commented.

‘That does not matter! Raquel Murillo is capable enough to get her points back. Right, Raquel?’

The girl felt dizzy. She could not follow the topic of this conversation, but felt she was being talked to, so she smiled politely.

‘Raquel is going to be my wife. Your attempts to ridicule me publishing her pictures are extremely lame, and a dishonor to the Vicuña name. Luckily, being the first on the rankings has its charm, and I do have the power to expel one boy of my choosing. Couldn’t be another way: the boy who published her pictures is off the competition. Forever.

‘Alberto!’ Monica, terrorized, tried to stop him. ‘That would leave him without a wife. He couldn’t marry, nor have children. He will have to go to maintenance, underneath the tunnels! Do you know what that means? Are you going to condemn your own classmate? His lungs will fill with dust, you are going to kill him. 

‘Well, he’ll have to do something useful for once in his life! It’s his destiny, after all. He never worked hard to get into the rankings. Maybe he could work hard in a real job. Am I right, Angel?

All mouths grew wide open. All eyes were fixed on him. including Raquel’s. She didn’t really know exactly where to look, but she perfectly understood the message: her best friend was a traitor.

All her body started to burn and, with tears in her eyes, she jumped towards him.

‘You are a bloody stupid idiot!’ she screamed, about to touch his shirt, ready to knock him down, like boys did. But they didn’t have any protection, nor any nurses nearby.

Luckily, Alberto stood between them, so nobody touched.

‘I understand you are in pain, Raquel, but this is for the best, believe me. It hurts more than a fight. Angel, please, go. In the headmaster’s office you’ll be explained what to do in order to work underneath the tunnels.

Angel didn’t know what to say. He was dead frozen for a while, inaudible talking, until finally something coherent escaped from his lips:

‘But… this is not fair… i didn’t do anything wrong…’

Nobody believed him. Absolutely no one. He searched for Raquel, but he only found hate.

‘You must trust me, we are friends!’

‘Friends? You’ve spent all your life trying to be my Perfect Match. I’m just a fucking object for you, not your friend. I’ve never seen it clearer.’

Angel couldn’t control his tears, as much as Alberto couldn’t control his smile. He was kicked off, and the party restarted again. Boys and girls separated for their respective acts. 

Raquel sat down at the end of the room, far from the girls, still dizzy and in pain, but unable to let go the new drink Alberto gave her. Spirits were so addictive, no matter how mad she was. 

Far, Monica explained what she got for them in their commemorative act.

‘Why does it seem like a pen but thicker?’ one of them asked. 

‘It' s not a pen. Is cotton and plastic’ another observed.

‘Well, it seems like a gun to me. Look, you can shoot from underneath.’

‘Who the hell would ever think to shoot a piece of cotton, you idiot?’

‘For sure it is weird…’

‘Girls, please, relax…’ Monica tried to speak. ‘You must listen to me. Since we have no supervision, I can finally explain this to you, I can tell you where to get more. It’s called a “tampon” and we can use it when we are in our shameful days…’

They looked at each other, not understanding a word. Some of them started to realize, but their confused faces turned red and horrorized.

‘You are telling me we have to use that instead of a towel?’

‘Well, the towel thing is pretty uncomfortable. With this you will be able to move.’

‘And that’s not uncomfortable? How does it work?’

Monica hand-gestured the instructions, and the girls got even more horrorized than before.

‘But only our husbands can do that to us! Not us with such instruments that can take away our purity!’

‘That is why you must not tell!’ Monica insisted, very stressed.

Girls completely disagreed, but it didn’t matter. Raquel lost her track again, even though this conversation was very interesting for her. She felt like an object during her shameful days, unable to do anything but cry. If there was something that could help her to get out of bed without bleeding out, she would love to use it.

However, her attention span was fluctuant. She had no control over her head. Since she was pinned to the wall, she could hear a repetitive sound coming out the other room, so she decided to take a look. 

She excused herself to the bathroom, but had no doubts while entering the boy’s room.

Her calculations were all wrong: she thought the room was as big as the girl’s room, but it was four times smaller. Or maybe this was all in her head?

‘What’s this?’ she asked in horror.

Boys had their pants down, touching themselves like crazy, but worst were the monsters in the walls.

Her teacher had said before that monsters didn’t exist, but the walls had human legs coming from them. Moving human legs. It was oniric, a freaking nightmare.

‘Raquel! Welcome! You were the only one missing!’ Alberto invited her in. ‘Boys! Raquel is here! Finally we can start!’

Something was wrong, clearly wrong. She felt her chest moving at speedlight, her nerves begging her to run away, but she couldn’t. Her legs were numb and her mind was all foggy.

Things were even worse: Alberto wasn’t following the rules, he was taking her by the shoulders and it took her long to realize that. 

Worst even: all boys were doing the same: there were no rules for the males. They were touching the legs of the monster in the wall. 

‘Alberto, what’s happening?’

‘I’m sorry you had to find out this way’ he frowned. ‘But expelled girls must have their punishment too.’

Raquel found it hard to breath. She needed to throw up, but was unable to do so, making her body even weaker than before.

‘I don’t understand… being expelled was the punishment…’

‘For you, girls. For us it’s different. In this party, we become men, Raquel, and we need to do it with such kind collaborations like you, right, boys?

Their fingers were touching the insides of the monster. It seemed horrifying but Raquel’s body, and not her mind, wanted to be touched the same. All her inhibitions were completely shut down. 

‘You son of bitches! I am going to kill all of you, you hear me? All! I am going to shove your dicks off and I am going to feed them to the dogs! Bastards!’

‘Whose voice is that?’ Raquel asked, feeling heavy. The connections to her body were cut from her mind, and he didn’t notice how Alberto put her on a strange and uncomfortable bed.

‘Don’t worry, Raquel, just put one leg here, it’s very simple.’ He guided her. Soon one toe was tied, then the other. 

‘What 's happening?’

‘Is that Raquel? Raquel, my love, you’ve been drugged! We all have! Try to fight it, please! Raquel!’

Everything was moving. Or was it her? What was happening? Why did she feel that was nauseating and yet she was craving it?’

‘My love, please’ she weeped, ‘fight!’

That was Agata’s voice, was it? She was so strong, but the sweetest girl too. She was so kind with the girls. She was sweeter with Silene, though.

‘You are all going to rot in hell! I am going to cut your throats with my teeth! I am going to get drunk on your blood!’

Ah, Silene. She was the tough one. How to forget her?

She finally noticed two rough fingers in her inner tights. Were those Alberto’s?

‘Please…’ she fought back as hard as she could. ‘Alberto, please stop…’

But he wouldn’t. He was close to her cunt now. So close. Her mind begged to stop this, as opposed to her body already dripping.

She found some strength and started kicking, making him pretty uncomfortable.

‘You have to stay still! I’m going to be a man today, and I want it to be with you! You are my first, I’m doing this for you, for us, so our union is a real romance and not some stupid lie! Why can’t you understand?

Worst was that she couldn’t even look at him. She had a wall in front of her, now she was the monster she was so afraid of.

She continued fighting with a superhuman strength, even though her body needed so much to throw up. 

Next thing she listened to was a huge mess. Boys started to complain, as if someone was knocking them off. 

First to be free was Silene, she did it on her own, although her legs had two painful wounds due to ripping the wall off.

‘Holy fucks you came!’ she said.

‘Silene, are you ok? What did they do to you, my girl? Did they touch you?’

‘That doesn’t matter now. I am going to kill them. I am going to kill everybody. Help me with the others.’

‘Who else is here?’

‘Agata. My Agata. And her too.’

More mess. Raquel though she heard Salva’s brother, and the other man with that curious accent. A boy started saying that if Salva kicked him that way, he was going to die. His head was bleeding, but more blood came from Alberto’s head when Salva kicked it through the wall. 

‘Prof, prof!’ Agata held onto his chest like the only thing remaining in this world. 

‘Where is she?’ Salvador took Agata by her cheeks.

She pointed to her possition.

‘Girls, please. I swear I am going to be with you real soon, but for now, take the other girls, and just go.’

‘Go? Where?’

‘Just follow my men. They’ll help you. Silene, take the tunnel’s map. You will move easily down there.’ Raquel could hear the sound of a wrapped paper, but it soon faded away with Silene’s screams, that was breaking the walls only with her bare hands. 

Then, everything went black.

Next thing she saw was even more confusing. For a moment, she even believed she was flying. 

But something was holding her. It felt like two heavy iron sticks, if it wasn’t because she could also feel human warmth. 

He was looking at her with a broken expression, sweat dripping from his head. He finally left the suit on the wardrobe and used a comfy sports shirt and black trousers, all stained in blood. Not his blood, though. Once again, everything went black.

Now she was on the floor, his body over hers. He was shaking her over, rather impatiently. Was he crying?

‘Please, Raquel, don’t close your eyes! Can you hear me? Raquel!’

More black screens passed through her eyes.

Something hard was on her back again. Not the floor, but a wall. They were in Salva's room. He was holding her by her waist, whereas hitting her face with his free hand.

‘Raquel, please, come back. Please, for me.’

‘Teach me…’ she said, not thinking about a word that came through her lips.

‘What?’ he tilted his head, nervous, confused and, above all, panicking. 

‘You said that wasn’t…’ she breathed, ‘...the reality of sex…’ breathed again. ‘So, teach me.’

‘Are you insane?’ he looked at her in horror. ‘They touched you, right? Was it Alberto? Raquel!’ he hit her kindly again. ‘Tell me! Did he do it? Did Alberto…’ he couldn’t finish that sentence without weeping his soul out. ‘Fuck, Raquel!’

‘Teach me…’ she leaned towards him, not controlling her body. ‘C’mon, Salva…’ Her hands wandered through his pecs, through his abs, not stopping for a second, trying to finally hide underneath his pants. 

‘Stop it, Raquel!’ he grabbed her wrist tight. ‘Raquel…’ took two deep breaths. ‘You’ve been drugged. I think it’s GHB, regarding your behaviour. But this is okay, you hear? I am not blaming you, nor you should blame yourself. This is just the drug talking. Raquel, please…’

She threw herself to Salva’s lips, but he was able to sidestep her.

‘Raquel, for fuck’s sake.’ he growled. ‘We have to take this out of your system, but you have to come back first. Please, forgive me, but you have to feel a bit of a shock and throw up.’

‘Make me feel…’ she whispered, pushing her hips to his.

Salva was way stronger, so he drove Raquel’s body to the shower without a flinch. He didn’t even bother to take her dress off, although her shoes were already lost in his room.

‘Make me feel…’ she continued, eyes mid closed. 

He opened the taps. It first hit his back, and he howled in pain. His own wounds weren’t still healed, and freezing water was too much for him too. 

Slowly, he stepped back, holding her tight.

She wasn’t reacting, all she could do was squirm in his arms, whereas he fought against her complaints. She had her dress all wet, ruined makeup, black tears running down her cheeks.

‘Just make me feel… please…’ She insisted. She tried to push Salva’s hair, make his lips hid in her body, but he stood still.

‘No, Raquel…’ he said in a lower voice, and held her even tighter. 

‘Please…’ she was leaving her neck on a silver plate, and her squirms almost made her dress fall off. However, Salva took the strings of her dress and put it back, not allowing her to go anywhere.

‘You have to feel the shock, Raquel, nothing else. You have to get it out.’ he said with chattering teeth.

‘You know this is your only chance, don’t you?’ she whispered, finding more sense in her speech.

He smiled.

‘I prefer to lose an opportunity than to take advantage of you, idiot’ he said, although he doubted Raquel could hear. 

Raquel howled, and only then her body started to shake.

Cold finally went through her bones, making her muscles move uncontrollably.

Salva turned off the water and, taking care she wouldn’t hit herself, he held her until her knees hit the floor. Then, he took her hair, and lifted the toilet bowl, just in time for Raquel to throw off. 

Slowly, her sensations went back. She noticed disgust in her body, as if she was treated like trash. Couldn’t distinguish if she was shaking due to cold or terror, and was so frightened of all the bad sensations running through her skin, as if she was quickly falling ill. She could smell her own vomit, something that made her feel even dizzier, her stomach couldn’t handle the stress and, the moment her bile appeared in the toilet bowl, she swore she preferred to die than to continue in that state. 

But Salva took her head back, kindly resting it on his chest. Their eyes met, and she could finally see his wet hair, his chattering teeth and his worried look. With his hand, Salva cleaned the vomit remains on her lips, finishing in a shy caress down her cheek.

‘I am so cold…’ she trembled.

‘I know. Can you move on your own?’

She tried, but only her fingers responded, still weak.

‘I’m sorry, I’m trying, but…’

‘It’s ok.’ Salva turned her so they could face each other. ‘Raquel, I am going to help you undress and get warm. But I want you to understand that I am only aiding you, okay?’

‘What?’ Raquel still felt confused.

‘Raquel, you are going to be put through a lot due to the drug. You are not in your shoes right now, that is why I need you to understand that my sole intention is to help you. Can I help you? Do I have your permission to take your dress off?’

‘Y-yes…’ she said, shyly.

Salva took the strings of her dress. His fingers ended in her waist, pulling the dress down. Raquel was frozen, so scared. She was unable to react, and didn’t like that for a bit. However, him doing that was somehow… trustworthy.

‘Okay, I am going to take your underwear now, before you get an infection, if you don’t have one already. Don’t worry, okay? I am not going to look more than the necessary to help you. okay? Can i continue? Do I have your trust?’

She nodded.

‘Raquel, speak. I need you to continue speaking, I don’t want to look for another way for you to shake and react. Please, always speak to me.’

‘Yes’ she said, a bit more confident now. ‘You can… you can go on.’

‘Okay. I need you to keep calm. I am not going to hurt you. I am not even going to touch you.’

But she wasn’t calm at all. Salva was even closer, there was no distance between them. He untied her bra, leaving her chest free, which touched his. Then he leaned over, and she felt her heart crossing the other side of the room. His fingers went down her waist and, in less than she could realize, her underwear was on her feet, and a big towel leaned on her shoulders. 

Salva took her by her waist again, holding her tight to his body, now with the towel between them. With a touch of kindness, he started rubbing her skin, finally making her feel warm.

‘I fought, I swear I fought.’ she tried to say.

‘I know. I’ve seen it.’ he answered, as he dried her. ‘If you weren’t on drugs, I doubt none would be alive right now.’

She smiled. It hurted a lot but, in that moment, she felt pleased.

Almost without noticing, she soon had a black shirt on her, and shorts on her waist. Or what it seemed like shorts for her. Probably it was his own underwear. Salva put her on his bed and covered her with the sheets, all stained with clues that a few days ago he tried to drown them in peroxide.

‘I followed your advice’ he read her mind.

‘I noticed’ she closed her eyes.

‘I’m gonna stay here with you, so I am close if you need to throw up again. Can I?’

‘It’s your bed…’

‘I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.’

‘You never do.’

‘Not even when we argue?’ He raised his eyebrows. 

She didn’t answer. Only smiled, but her eyes were closed, she was able to finally sleep.

A good rest will serve her well. He was so scared of what is going to follow that nap: an awful hangover, more throwing up, more dizziness, more weakness and, above all, the trauma when she realized what had just happened.

But we will cross that river when we get to the bridge, he tried to believe. Now she only needed to rest. He made sure Raquel was properly breathing by putting his fingers under her nose, but, not realizing it, those fingers ended up caressing her cheek by pure instinct. 

She was so calm, while sleeping. Something almost animal inside his guts wished she never had to get off his bed again. Nobody dared to touch her, she would just stay under his sheets, and he would behave like a guard dog, biting off anyone who dared to breath the same air as her. 

She was so at peace, now she was safe, that was the only important thing. And she was so pretty, when she was at peace. When this shitty world couldn’t get her.

Salva felt a pressure pain on his chest, and stopped his tender caresses in an instant. He looked at the ceiling trying to find there the instructions to breathe in her presence.

But he couldn’t do it anymore.

‘Oh shit. I am so fucked up.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Please, go to wattpad if you want more information about the drug i described. My mind cannot translate anything else for today)
> 
> If you have questions, you can always send me an MD to any of my social media (i’m @elen__jaxx in twitter and instagram). 
> 
> I love you all so much and sorry if I traumatized you.
> 
> Thanks a ton for reading. I’m having a bad time right now, so, as usual, feel free to comment, because my egocentric bitch gets sooo happy when she sees the inbox. 
> 
> Loving you tons,
> 
> Morningstar.


	8. The Lone Wolf's cry

First rays of dawn pierced through the window and played inside the professor's eyes. Every time he wakes up, his eyes are wet; his body is still in the middle of a slumber, and all that mixed with the orange lights of the morning, made his eyes pass through a dark brown colour towards a sweet honey tone. That was quite relaxing. Quite… like home.

However, he never thought about home until he found her in his arms.

He had been so careful, oh, he really tried. He lied on the edge of the bed, swearing he won’t touch her, he won’t disturb her, that she could take all the space she needed. He was about to leave her alone and sleep on the floor, but, knocked out by anxiety, he went to sleep before even thinking about it. 

He remembered how she also tried to take the other edge of the bed, leaving a ridiculously large amount of space between them. Nevertheless, in their dreams, they both moved up to the centre of the bed. Raquel held onto his chest like nothing else existed on this planet, with her ear directly in his heart, her fingers lost in the shy hair that appeared in his pecs.

He also did something quite stupid in his dreams. He was holding her by her waist, and had his nose hidden in her hair, that smelled so good even though the shitty night she has been through.

He woke up carefully and left a sweet kiss in her forehead, not even touching her skin, and then sighed heavily.

Luckily, she was deeply asleep, but he was still scared of waking her up by the sound of his speeding heart. The man was profoundly scared. All those painful sensations were a storm in his head, he couldn’t distinguish real from fiction, fair from unfair, ethical from unethical. Well, that wasn't ethical at all. Or moral. Or whatever. And, yet, he was unable to let her go.

She squirmed in her dreams, making Sergio’s heart burst. He didn’t want to wake her up and see how close she was to a man again. What if she thinks he is also taking advantage of her? Maybe he actually was? Maybe he got so close on purpose, since she was so weak to realize? Was he that much of a manky tosser?

All those dizzy questions went on break the second she moved on her side, holding now the pillow, showing her back to him.

Sergio’s shirt was so big on her body that all that movement made the neck appear on her shoulder, exposing her tender skin. 

He had to stop and breathe. All his thoughts were fuzzy, and that wasn’t good. Not like this, anyways. If he continued this way, all the fear and all his razing thoughts will make him pee in his pants.

Once more, the storm in his head disappeared when she moved again. Her eyebrows were crossed, and she was holding the pillow a bit tighter. He was having a nightmare. 

Not thinking about it for even a second, he turned a bit to get closer to her body, holding her with his arms again. A sweet kiss ended in her naked shoulder, and his beating heart found a steady rhythm when her body relaxed. 

That could not be happening to him. He was melting from the inside, more at every second. It was so overwhelming that he thought it to be unbearable. 

‘Nnnhh… Salva?’ she whispered. 

His heart jumped and, believing that was the best way not to scare her, he pretended to be asleep.

She turned around, still one eye closed and the other with rheum. Her body needed longer to respond.

‘Are you awake?’ she said.

He decided not to move and continue his little show.

She rubbed her eyes with her fist, making her view shine with little flashes. When her eyes rested from the stress she’d put them too, Raquel spent some minutes deciding what to do next.

Even though it had been the worst night of her life, it was also the first time she slept so well since she was a little kid. She never imagined that having someone keeping her safe could make her feel so good, so calm. Truth was she didn’t want any human being closer to her and she knew that if Salva was any other person, she would have never been able to sleep.

But, with him… With him, it was all right. His blankets took some bodywarm of his, and she was so comfortable in that temperature. It was perfect. 

She started to remember what had happened the night before. Her fear in every fibre of her body, the absolute panic when Alberto was so close to do … that, to her. Or the monster in the walls, the girls, or his friend Angel’s face, so full of pain. Her skill refused any contact, not even her was able to touch her underneath her waist, she didn’t want to stretch her legs, he didn’t want to use them any longer. She wanted them to stay still forever, not doing anything else. Paralytic. Useless. She never thought she could ever wish something as horrifying as that, but maybe in that way she will be useless enough to never try to have kids, so she will never have to lay with a man. No one would ever touch her again.

But Salva did.

He touched her body and… Why wasn't that scary? She was so terrorized by men, by all men, in that very moment. She remembered to resist him too but…

The shower. It was freezing. She wanted to die there. Froze her blood, stop feeling. Her heart couldn’t bear with the cold, she wanted it to stop beating. For a moment there, it was the less painful option, but she couldn’t really feel the cold, because Salva was there. She was holding her close, her body was still warm. Like the fireplace’s hall during Christmas, or the sunny rays of summer, or the memory of hot chocolate with churros in her mother’s home, so many years ago. 

She realized she never wanted to abandon that strange protection he gave her. She was so scared of human contact, but she was more scared of being alone. 

Moving slowly to avoid waking him up, she went back to lay in his chest, curling her legs between his, looking for his warmth. She closed her eyes and let herself go. Tears came back faster than she thought, but they runned slowly through her cheeks. There was no pressure in her chest that obliged her to cry, not a headache that made her feel guilty for that. The only pain was in her body. Everything felt numb, her groins were burning due to the bad position she took when Alberto… well, that. Her head was actually hurting too, and her stomach, but those were all effects of an awakening she was not ready to go through.

At least, all that pain was less noticeable by his side.

Slowly, she went back to a peaceful slumber for some minutes.

Those were enough for Sergio to open his eyes again, and die of sadness.

He had noticed in her skin, in her movements, all fear that came out of her body. Everything she was feeling at that moment. As if both bodies and both minds were connected by something that no human was allowed to understand.

Besides, she was close to him again, by her choice. Not under the drugs, not under the nightmares or anxiety. She was looking for him. And he could only think, drawn in his own sadness, that she did that out of fear for what was outside that bed, that room, even for what was inside her head. 

He didn’t think he was able to help her. It was too much responsibility, and he didn’t even find a moment to cry on his own too, in fear of his animal instincts to break Vicuña’s face. And all the boys’ faces in the boarding school. The teachers too. And to whomever decided the stupid educational law.

He fiercely rubbed his eyes, looking for a way to clear his thoughts. Maybe, if he was able to pierce his fingers through his brain, he could tear his intrusive thoughts, that plethora of bad ideas.

‘I am so sorry, Raquel’ he whispered. ‘I truly am.’ He permitted himself to give her a hug.

That gesture took her out of her dreams. She slowly woke up, but later she realized what she had done and jumped to take some distance.

‘Sorry, Salva, I didn’t… Sorry.’

He perfectly understood why she needed to separate so quickly. Now he knew he was awake, it was best for both to pretend, to save some distance… to behave, like any normal person would do. Nonetheless, he felt a pressure of rejection in his chest. 

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked.

‘Well… my head hurts. My whole body, actually. I am hungry, but I am a bit scared of eating..’

‘Don’t worry. I am going to get you some food, you just stay in bed. Do you need to drink some water first?’

She nodded, and Sergio stood up at the moment. He looked for his bottle and put it closer to her lips.

‘Salva… I know how to drink on my own…’ she laughed.

‘Sorry, I’m… I’m so stupid.’ He shook his head, leaving the bottle in her hands. 

His suit pants and his brown boots were enough to go downstairs to the dining room. Raquel didn’t take her eyes out of him the whole time he spent dressing up.

When he came back, Raquel was in front of the mirror, looking at what was left of her. Her hair was messy. Clean, after that strange shower, but still chaotic on her head. There were still some makeup remains on her cheeks. The image on the reflection wasn’t what she expected to be. She never expected to be so small, to look at the mirror and not make a pose, lifting her ass or her chest in a strange stretch. But there she was. With her shoulders down, with her feet fingers almost looking at each other, with weak legs and crazy heart beats. 

He didn’t want to take off the black shirt. It was enormous, leaning on one shoulder, covering down the middle of her muscles, but covering her, nonetheless. It was all that she needed. She wasn’t capable of seeing every part of her body that made her an object of desire. Those naugthy parts that made men fight for her. Use her in their own benefit. Last night, she opened her eyes out of sudden, and she didn’t want to belong to that world any longer.

Salva entered the room then, and all her attention deviated to him. She remembered how he pulled up her dress in the shower when it was sliding over. How he asked for her consent when he took her clothes, how he managed to avoid touching her. Why was he behaving that way? Was he the only man not interested in her? Due to being that old, maybe. He might have children now, and obviously a wife. Maybe kids change when they become men.

She didn’t know what Salva was thinking at that very moment. Truth was his heart skipped a beat the moment he saw her with his clothes. Standing still, strong, beautiful. A survivor. He saw very different things of what the mirror was showing to her. His head was going insane seeing her naked shoulder, and he had to force —and insult— himself to bring him back to sanity and stop thinking such stupidities like a cringing man.

He couldn’t think anything like that with her, nor looking where he shouldn’t. She deserved, for once in her life, to be treated with respect.

‘What have you brought?’ she asked curiously.

He came back.

‘I brought some food from the teacher’s kitchen’ he said, showing the plate. ‘It will be good for you to have a normal breakfast for once. 

She never imagined seeing such breakfast. She has been drinking digestive tea and half of a banana for breakfast since she was six years old. But there it was. Two hot glasses of milk, pears, a bowl with grapes, a plate with pancakes and butter, a glass of orange juice, some cookies, some jam. She swore she had never seen so much food all together. 

‘Is this for me?’ Her eyes shined.

‘Yes. Well, for both of us, really. But you have to promise you are going to eat slowly. I am afraid your stomach could not handle the food.’

She accepted. Sergio put the plate near the bed and sat by her side. He didn’t touch a thing, he left her nervous fingers exploring all the food, only to end up in the cookings, her first choice. 

He could die of tenderness while seeing her devouring everything, then remember he was looking at him and trying later to eat slowly so he wouldn’t get mad, even though she would go back to eating like crazy in no time.

She took a slip of the glass of milk. She never realized her lips well all white. Sergio swallowed.

‘Your face is all dirty, you idiot.’

‘Mine? Where?’

Sergio gestured in his own face, but she only mirrored him in one side.

‘Is it gone?’

He laughed.

‘Of course not.’

She rubbed fiercely, but in the same place again.

Sergio smiled and took a napkin. 

‘Can I?’

She nodded and his fingers quickly found their path onto her lips. Sweet and tender, he cleaned the remains of chocolate and milk, but he already made the mistake, no matter how much effort he put into.

He had touched her lower lip and felt how Raquel’s eyes pierced him. 

‘I’m sorry.’

What he didn’t understand is that nobody has ever touched her lips before. That a shot of electricity ran through her body for a simple touch, and that she didn’t really mind.

‘No, it 's ok…’

‘Is the food alright? Do you need to go to the toilet?’ He changed the subject.

‘Eh, the food it’s alright. My stomach isn’t hurting, so that’s good.’

‘Good.’

They stayed like that for a few second, not touching the plates, until she was brave enough:

‘Salva… can we… can we talk about it?’

‘What do you want to talk about?’

‘About tonight.’

He swallowed.

‘Sure. Wh-what do you want to know?’

‘I have so many questions… I don’t really know where to start but… I think… I think I want to ask: was I really wearing THAT last night?’ She pointed at her dress, which hung dried in Salva’s wardrobe. 

He had to contain his laughter.

‘Yes…’

Raquel needed to hide her face with her hands, all shy.

‘I don’t know what I was pretending. That way it was so logical that… that…’

She couldn’t continue, but he quickly understood.

‘It’s not the dress’ fault, Raquel. Nor your slittetos or the makeup. You should be able to dress however you want. Human body is a gift, a piece of art, not an object to use and recycle.’

She looked down.

‘He said it was the proper thing to do, you know?’ she whispered.

Sergio had to make sure air was still entering his lungs.

‘Raquel… I…. this question might be very difficult and I beg your pardon for it, you don’t need to answer if you don’t want but… What….What did he really do to you?’

‘Oh, he didn’t…. Well, that didn't’t happen. I remember he tied me to the wall, I remember his fingers in my legs. It hurted, but nothing else happened. I am sure about it.’

Air went out Sergio’s body like a dying balloon. 

‘Well… eh…’ He used his thumb to put his glasses in place, only to find out they were still on the nightstand. ‘Even though that is still quite disgusting… I’m… I’m glad to know.’

‘Yes… I suppose so… He said… he said it was romantic.’

‘That is the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard.’

‘I know…. ‘ She shrugged. ‘But, at that moment, I was so scared that I… I thought it was even logical, you know. It seems it’s something they do every year. A ceremony where… they make kids into men. And he wanted it to be with me because, that way, when we marry, we would be the couple that only touched each other, do you understand?’ 

‘I do, but it’s so sad and disgusting. Do you really want to be with him?’

‘No’ she didn’t doubt. ‘Not at all. I hate him. It’s my worst nightmare right now.’

‘You didn’t say the same when you broke his nose’ he raised his eyebrows.

She smiled.

‘I’ve forgotten that I can also be brave.’

‘Then I’ll promise to remind you of it to you every day.’

They went silent again. But it wasn’t uncomfortable.

‘Salva… did you… did you pass that ceremony too?’

He looked at her for a while, not knowing where to start.

‘That ceremony does not prove if you are a man or not.’

‘and what does?’

‘I don’t know. Your… your attitude, I suppose. Your maturity. They are just a bunch of kids that have no idea of the pain they can make, they don’t understand that every person, woman or man, has to be treated with respect.’

‘And how do you show that?’

‘What?’

‘Respect. In the vid you’ve shown us… Well, don’t get nervous, it has nothing to do with that but, when you helped me last night, you were always asking if you could go on, if you could do one thing or another and… I mean. It was weird and I was… like, uncomfortable. You know? But nonetheless it seemed okay. I agreed. But in that video… there were no questions, not careful touches. Nor…

‘It 's okay.’ He calmed her. ‘ I understand what you wanted to say.’ He sighed. 

‘Why did you show us that video?

‘I am so sorry. I will bear with the guilt of it all my life. It was important to… to maintain my job here. I’ve never thought of the pain it might cause. I am afraid I also collaborated in this freak show of making you believe that is the only way you should be treated. I wish I could fix this mess.’

‘You can’

‘How?’

‘Teach me.’

Both felt a rush of adrenaline in their stomach. She remembered how ridiculous it was to get so close to him last night, out of control. He remembered he would have given up everything for last night to be different. Both swallowed. 

‘I mean, I am sorry, I didn’t want to say that… You know that wasn’t me, I didn’t… What I mean is that, you are a teacher and you could, well, that. Ex...explain it to me. If you want, for sure. I imagine it is super uncomfortable and I don’t want to bother it is just that I…’

‘You are curious,’ he said calmly.

She nodded. 

‘It’s logical, you are eighteen. You should be asking, exploring, experimenting. They took that part of your life.’

‘Then help me find it. Tell me how it is. But outside that video.’

He scratched his head. He didn’t know if he was ready for that conversation, or if she actually was. His skin got reddish and words couldn’t come out of his mouth. He decided to take a deep breath and start organizing his razing thoughts:

‘First thing you need to know is that it is something you have to want. Some people want it before, some people want it after, some people never want it. But you can do it because it is a strange duty or whatever. Nor because your partner feels like it or that you have to produce kids for the state.’

‘And why would anyone do it then?’

‘Because they want to feel pleasure and relieve, or because they are in love. Most of the time, both.’

‘And how is that?’

‘How is what?’

She took some time to think.

‘Both things’ she decided to ask.

Sergio smiled, inspired by her curiosity, that made him soft, even though he didn’t know how to explain himself. 

‘Well… the first thing… is something very personal, I think. I suppose they took that away from you too. Have you ever… er…. have you ever felt like some “nervousness” just on your hips, in the middle?’ He put a hand underneath his belly. ‘Here.’

He mirrored him. Then, she remembered the sweet feeling she experienced when she did “that” to her pillow, after one of their fights. She nodded.

‘Then, that is a sign of, of pleasure. As if, your body moves from there precisely, and asks for more. Like if you were gathering some… tension. Do you follow?’

She nodded again.

‘And how do you get that feeling?’

‘Eh…’ He scratched his head again, knowing he couldn’t use his glasses to keep calm. ‘There are a million ways to do so. That is something you have to know, you have to let yourself… feel.’

‘How?’

This was so hard for him. He’d never needed to explain this to anybody. On the contrary, it was his brother who talked with him about the birds and the bees, and he was grosser than he wished him to be. 

‘Every body is… different. You have to, well, simply, touch your body, wherever you like. Slowly, sweet, or hard. With the tip of your fingers or with your nails. The skin can feel many different things.’

‘That is why it is forbidden to touch another person? So that person can never feel those types of things?’

‘They say it’s due to the virus, but I always thought like you do. That is why I believe they took away the power… to, well, to enjoy another person’s body. That mess of sensations and how the body reacts it's quite the art, you know. Your skin comes alive, and it even gets a bit reddish, depending on the zones. Like the chest, or your cheeks, or your ears.’

‘And if you see that in another person’s body, that means they like it?’

‘Yes. That means your body reacts to physical intimacy. And that is beautiful.’

‘I understand.’ She lifted her knees to her chest, and put her head on them, thinking. ‘Then… is that… sex?’

‘It’s one part of it, yes.’

‘Does it hurt.’

He swallowed again.

‘The other part, I mean.’

‘Ern… I shouldn’t, Raquel.’

‘Why not? It seems pretty hard and painful to me. And it scares me.’

‘Yes, because that is what you’ve seen. All idiots in this shitty school believe the same. Because they forget about the other part. The part of just… feeling each other’s skin. And caressing each other, and kissing each other, and touching where you want to be touched or saying the exact words… all your body gets ready to feel… more pleasure.’

‘You can feel more?’

‘Oh, yes’ He smiled nervously. ‘A lot more. But it has to be progressive. So then your… eh, your erogenous zone, get wet and bigger and… friction becomes pleasure.’

‘Erogenous zone? Do you mean vagina?’

‘Eh, yes, that…’ He looked away, cursing himself. That conversation should be natural, why was he all nervous looking for metaphors or sweet words? How old was he? Five?

‘They said it was just a canal to make children.’

‘Oh, it’s much more than that. There you can find the back of the cli...Well...’ He shook his head. ‘I think that’s enough information for today.’

‘No, please go on. I want to now why people have sex when they are in love.’

There it was. A cardiac attack. He swore it was. It couldn’t mean anything else what was happening to his chest right now. 

‘Let’s see…’ He took a deep breath. ‘ You have memories from your childhood, am I right?’

She nodded.

‘Did your mum read you fairytales?’

She didn’t need much to remember. It wasn’t her mother’s tales what came to her mind, but X stories, that made her dream every night. Stories about princes and princesses, warriors, or dragons in the skies, even pirates. How he would protect her with his life. How she would sacrifice for him. How their hearts rushed when they met, how they hugged each other, finding home in each other’s arms. She understood everything, because she already knew that. X teached her about it, so long ago. 

‘Yes…’ she whispered.

‘Then it 's that. It’s like a fairytale. It just happens, and you can’t avoid it. It hits you by surprise, destroys all your plans. It’s dizzy, scary, but you’ll do anything for that person. Literally everything.’

Sergio felt a painful burn in his chest. As if his wounds woke up to the sound of those words.

‘It seems cute.’

‘It should be.’

Silence conquered the room again. They continued eating a bit then. With everything clear, eating was easier. She didn’t want to throw up anymore. He didn’t want to rip his heart out of his chest too.

When he wanted to take a grape, she did the same. Their hands clumsily touched, and they threw the bowl to the floor.

‘I’m sorry.’ She laughed. 

Her laughter, so natural, so clean and truthful, made Sergio feel a special warm in his chest, made him smile too. His eyes, all shiny, were obsessed with that smile. 

But it fade away soon:

‘Salva, what about them? I know Alberto really didn’t… you know. But, what about Silene and Agata? Do you know something?’

‘No, you are right, I should call my brother soon. He is taking care of them. Last time I saw Silene, he had some human hair on her fists, so i bet a kid in this school might have a clean and shiny spot over their head. Consequences are gonna be brutal, and I am not referring to the boys.’

She understood. She was now the target, like Salva and the other two mysterious men.

‘Maybe you should go.’

‘I’m sorry?’

‘Away from school, i mean. Before they get you. I don’t want them to… You have some nasty wounds on your back, Salva. I don’t want to see more.’

‘Don’t worry.’

‘But…’

‘I said don’t worry. I still have a few things to do. I’ll be fine.’

‘Are you sure?’

He smiled. 

‘I promise.’

‘All right…’

‘You are the one that should go, Raquel, to your room. Take your things and pretend this didn’t happen. It will be the best for you, and for me too. Would you be able to do it without making any sound?’

‘You can trust me.’

They said goodbye with a shy smile. When the door closed, Sergio threw himself to the bed, exhausted. 

He had both hands on his face. All the anxiety he had been hiding throughout the conversation rushed through his skin quicker than he thought, and so hard, that he broke in tears. 

‘Asshole, asshole, asshole, you stupid asshole…’ he growled, hating himself.

He stood up with a jump, took his boxing bag and put it in the iron bar on the wall. 

He didn’t even bother to bind up his hands that morning. He was so in pain, so confused, that he only wanted to throw all his rage away. He imagined he was his own boxing bag. It was the only way he could punish himself.

‘You shitty pedophile…’ He punched. ‘Ten. Ten fucking years.’ He continued hitting hard. He wasn’t even looking, his eyes were very wet. ‘What the fuck are you? A fucking disturbed men? You psico… you should have known better… Dad already told you… not that way, Sergio. Not that way…’

Andrés was the same idiot when they met for lunch, far from La Casa de Papel. His brother, far on the clouds, said it was okay. He should enjoy a young female’s body, one of the few pleasures last in this life. 

He couldn’t feel any other thing but disgust, and guilt for that thing too. His brother was a naughty old man. No matter how much he insisted that he was “just living life”.

At least, in that uncomfortable talk, he could make sure the girls were alright. They have been disgustingly touched, one of them had awful wounds on her legs, but none was specifically raped. 

That being the punishment for loving… that was a huge shit of a law.

‘When are you gonna tell her? Andrés asked.

‘Tell her what?

‘About her mother.’

He trembled.

‘She is not ready.

‘It’s her mother, Sergio. She needs to know. You are the one that’s not ready. Do you still think it was your fault?’

‘Let’s leave this topic, please.

‘I can get her out, Sergio, if this is what you want. Two days and she is free.’

‘What I want is to forget about her, Andrés. I fucked all up. It is better to leave things be.’

__

Far from a conversation that should concern our main character, Raquel was now on her bed, all curled up, trying to hold that many emotions together.

Ten minutes before, she’ve found another letter:

_ “Search for the hill that can only be seen through the boys’ windows in the school. I will see you near the glade at twelve p.m. I will tell you everything. _

_ Don’t be late. _

_ I’m with you,  _

_ X.” _


	9. Fairy Tales

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //There is a translation of a non original poem inside this chapter. The original one belongs to Txus di Fellatio, the composer of the Spanish rock band Mago de Oz//

Raquel has come back to class… and she didn’t want to do it anymore. For the first time ever, she despised every new theory, every traumatic video, every lady-duty she had to follow once she got out of there.

If she asked where Angel was, she got punished again. No one dares to speak about the tunnels underneath the school. Nothing made sense anymore.

She only wanted to come back to Salva’s room, since it was the only place where she could feel safe, where something made sense. Even though she felt so trapped, she tried to maintain her manners. That same night, she was finally going to meet X, and she was so ready to ask him to run away with her. To get her outside that obnoxious school, that horrendous world.

However, to achieve that, she had to behave just a little more, and that implied going to class with… her.

Alicia Sierra was explaining to the girls the different steps they had to follow the day of their wedding. How their marriage was going to be sealed and, with that, their whole lifes.

While she was talking, Raquel, all curled in the corner, despised every single word that came out of her mouth.

‘The Ceremony will consist of three vital events, my little children. First, signing the vows.’ Alicia pointed at a paragraph on the screen. ‘Raquel, why don’t you do us a favour and read the first paragraphs?’

Raquel growled, but she got up just in time to avoid another rebuke and started to read out loud: 

“I, name, surname, swear to be loyal to my husband, name, surname, so I would always be faithful, I will always be ready to satisfy… ‘ she swallowed, ‘to satisfy his sexual needs, since, as a man, nothing else is more important.’ She bit her lips. ‘I would do the cleaning, I would do the cooking. I will bring his children onto the world and I will nourish them until their sixth birthday. I will never argue with him, never have a different opinion. I will do exactly as my husband says. Until the end of my days.’

Everything she said burned her throat. Every single day she wasted on that stupid boarding school made her realize that world cannot be good, that cannot be her destiny. She believed in Salva now, and she remembered all X’s cards. Love wasn’t that. It wasn’t a contract. It had way more meaning. 

‘Very well, my little Raquel. Please, tell us, have you understood everything?’

‘Yes, mam` she nodded, not looking at her for a second. 

‘I’m glad.’ Alicia smiled, triumphant. Everything was going smooth again. ‘Let’s go then to point number two. The sealing of the marriage. Once you do this, there will be no turning back. You will seal your love forever, with that one an only person, your husband. You will never touch another man. Some people, in the ancient times, called the sealing “a kiss”, but that has lost all its meaning, for sure.’

Some girls looked horrified at each other.

‘What are you mumbling about, young ladies?’ the teacher said. 

‘Teacher…’ Monica intervened. ‘The thing is… there are rumours…’

‘What short of rumours?’

‘About Silene and Agata. They say they’ve done it, that is why they were punished, that is why they are not here. You’ve sent them to the tunnels because… they kissed.’

Alicia Sierra was dead serious by now, which made the girl uncomfortable.

‘That is true. Agata and Silene are working at the tunnels underneath the school right now. They commited a sin, they kissed outside marriage. They cannot make such an important seal just like that, and obviously not with another woman! That is diabolic and must be punished accordingly.’

Raquel frowned. Again, the image of Salva’s brother holding that man’s hand came before her eyes. _Because we love each other, you idiot,_ he had said. They loved each other. Like in those fairy tales. They loved each other and it didn’t matter what they had between their legs.

Alicia was lying, of course. The girls weren’t underneath the school: Salva’s brother played well. They were outside the school, they were safe. They could love each other, and seal their love all the times they wanted. 

Raquel thought about X, and about that time he wrote about the Prince of Sweet Despair. She still remembered every verse, she still remembered when he taught her what poetry was:

_“Hunger and blues,_

_from which the moon is fuelled,_

_of love and smiles and laughter,_

_but I am the Prince of Sweet Despair._

_A kiss is where your soul has ended_

_but if you hold me tight, cold can wait,_

_Cos in your mouth can grow at edge,_

_my sorrow, my death,_

_if i am with you”_

She even believed that X just invented what poetry was. I mean, something so beauty could not exist more than in his head. Poetry? The sweet sound of words? How silly was that?

But he did it good, oh, he did it so good. He told her stories about that lonely prince, looking for his lost princess. He told her that all he longed was a kiss, one that proved how in love he was.

And she imagined the scene, every night. Of course, at the sweet age of six, a kid does not know much about kisses. She even believed, all in her sweet innocence, that a kiss was simply thimble. At least, that was the case in one of X’s fairy tales. Although, he confessed that some man named Barrie had written that already, but she didn’t know if she could believe him. After all, Raquel had never seen a book. Everything could be just in that kid’s head. 

It was a complex and beautiful head.

But she remained silent, as silent were all frightened girls, as she was, deep down. Scared and alone. So she didn’t say a word when Alicia explained that a seal was reserved only for their future husbands. That it was the only way one can prove how much you love your partner. That the first seal is the only one that truly matters. That it is a promise.

Because, deep down, she believed just the same.

Oh, but not with Alberto. Never with Alberto.

Although, maybe, with that mysterious little kid of hers…

Raquel shook her head. She had to stop thinking about those silly matters. Nevertheless, her heart rushed like crazy. She will finally see X’s face. She will finally know the truth. And she will ask him the only desire she had: to get out of that hell.

Something terrible made her stop thinking. Whereas Alicia smiled, a name appeared at the screen, with the Red Alert of the school.

The metallic voice of principal’s Tamayo sounded everywhere. 

‘Attention, students, please: your teacher, Alicia Sierra, had informed the police about a possible break in our security system. Today, I’ve received the official reports. From now on, interacting with the man called Sergio Marquina is terminally prohibited. If someone knows a person with that name, report immediately to the authorities, because that name belongs to the leader of the terrorist band. Please, students, be warned. He could be among us.’

That was it. Screams, chaos, fear. All the school feared the Resistance. All the school feared their leader. And they are slowly approaching him, they are going to take his mask off for good. Raquel feared too, but for different motives. If they enhanced the security, maybe she could never get out to her night meeting with X. Maybe he would never come. Or, maybe, X, was the leader of the Resistance, a mortal danger for her.

Or her only hope. 

In the middle of all that chaos, Raquel slided off on time. She hid in the bathrooms and simply waited for the night. When all got back to sleep, she slowly opened the door. 

She had everything studied. She will say she was on her shameful days. The guards, _men,_ couldn’t handle that topic without pulling weird faces, so she was sure they would not ask for the details. She only had to be quick enough to sneak into the boys’ restrooms, where there was a window from which she could jump and escape.

If she was caught there, she could say that pain couldn’t let her think clearly. 

Besides, at those hours, it was impossible to find any boy. She wouldn’t get in trouble. At least, that was what she thought.

But she wasn’t alone.

A man, a boy, weeped heartbroken in the last toilet. She didn’t want to focus on that, even though she was quite surprised to hear a man crying for the first time in her life. She opened the window. 

That man might have listened, because he stopped crying and Raquel could see how he lifted his feets to avoid getting caught. 

But he couldn’t take it for much longer. He breathed hard, covered his face with his hands, bit his tongue… He did the impossible to silence his tears, but his clumsy gestures were enough to weaken Raquel’s soul, who left the window open and got closer to his door.

‘Ey, are you ok?’ she muttered. 

He didn’t answer, so she knocked at the door.

‘Hi? Can I help you? Are you wounded?’

Still, no answer. Raquel, unable to give up for a second, looked for a pin on her head and with it, she started playing with the lock.

‘Go away, fuck…’ he said between his teeths. ‘Please… go…’

She stopped abruptly, and her heart rushed as much as it did when she thought about X, but for a very different man. 

‘Salva? Is that you?’

‘Just go away, fuck!’ He broke in tears again.

She swallowed at the sound.

‘Salva, I am going in.’

He didn’t even try to fight. Raquel opened the door, and she found Salva curled in the toilet, holding his knees onto his chest. He had his face all red, his eyes swollen, his cheeks all wet, his hair was such a mess.

Raquel’s heart shrinked. She closed the door behind her and subconsciously, she held him as she could with both arms. 

He was petrified, definitely, he wasn’t expecting that. However, blood rushed through his body again and in a reflex, he answered to that improvised hug. His fingers hold the back of her shirt, his face slided onto her chest, where she could hold him tighter. Just like that, in her arms, crying didn’t seem so bad. It didn’t hurt so much. 

Raquel didn’t know how to calm him down, but imagined it couldn’t be much different than the videos she had seen about how to take care of a kid. Those vids said that kids were so sensitive to everything, even the environment could create a tantrum in their bodies. Was Salva one of those kids? So sensitive? So scared?

She couldn’t believe it. Salva was a man now. Strong, brave, intelligent. Nothing of a kid was left on him. However, now she was holding him, now she tried to clean his rebel tears with the edge of her shirt, that was the only metaphor she could think of.

So she followed every step. She caressed his cheeks tenderly, she got him closer to her skin, so he could feel her warmth. She calmed him playing with her fingers in his head and, for an instant, she thought she wouldn’t mind doing that every day. He had such nice hair, with those uncontrollable big curls, so smooth and sweet. She also calmed him with tener noises, like a mother calming her baby without any word.

At the end, Salva closed his eyes, and finally breathed like a normal human being.

‘Than you....’ he muttered. ‘I didn’t know you were allowed to do that.’ He smiled playfully.

‘I’m not’ she imited him.

‘Then you are a very naughty girl, miss Murillo.’

‘Are you going to punish me, Professor?’

‘We’ll see about it’ he followed her game, but had to break it immediately. His muscles were all weak and only desired one thing: to hug her again. And Raquel let him.

‘What is wrong with you, Salva? Why are you crying? I’ve never… I’ve never seen a crying man. It has to be something very serious…

Salva looked at her full of tenderness in his eyes.

‘I must confess I’ve spent half of my life crying about silly things… ‘ he smiled. Still, that gesture made him quickly reach the edge of his shirt, since his eyes were still full of tears. ‘But this was… a lot.’ He closed his fist, wrinkling a picture.

‘What do you have there?’

‘It’s better if you don’t know.’ He moved his fist to his back.

‘Oh, c’mon.’ She leaned over, fighting in such an useless game, that ended with Raquel in his waist, with her nose almost touching his.

And the man, who thought he was going to explode if they maintained that position a bit longer, surrendered and gave her the picture, so she could move and get away from him.

He didn’t know that, after seeing that picture, she was even closer to him, but not through her body.

‘Salva… I… this is … horrifying....’ She covered her mouth with one hand. Now she wanted to cry too. ‘Why do you have this?’

‘I’ve been sent this… to… to remind me where I belong.’

‘Who could do something like that?’

‘Same people who did what you see in the picture, Raquel.’

She started to analyze it. The man in the picture had strong factions, a rebel beard, and a crazy brown hair on his head, showing big shiny curls. She looked back at Salva and realized. They weren’t the same man, but the genetics were the same. 

The only difference was on their forehead. Salva was okay. That man… with his closed eyes and his pale skin...he had a bullet whole on the middle of it.

‘That is your dad…’

Salva tried to say something coherent, but he started mumbling again. Before he broke into tears again, Raquel was hugging him again.

‘What was his name?’

‘Jesus… Jesus Mar… Mar… Martí.’

‘He is very handsome, Salva. You are so much like him.’ She was showing him the picture but, with her thumb in his forehead, he seemed, simply, asleep. ‘Do you see those silly curls? They are so much like yours.’

Salva finally smiled.

‘Thank you, Raquel. Thank you so much.’

‘You are welcome.’ She smiled too. ‘If you are feeling better… I should go. Are you going to be okay?’

‘Where are you going?’

‘None of your business.’ 

‘Raquel…’

‘I don’t want you to know, in case it is dangerous.’

He looked at her again and she surrendered in an instant.

‘Okay, since you’ve shown me your weakest point, it’s fair if you know mine.’ She snuggled. ‘I…. had a friend, when I was a bit younger.’

‘A friend? Outside La Casa de Papel, you say?’ he lifted his eyebrows, and she nodded. ‘But, how could you remember any of your friends from that date?’

‘He was so important to me, he was my only friend. Mum worked hard and forbidden me to go out. She said it was very important that I stayed at home, and that I was so young to understand. So I started writing to the children at the hospital my mother worked for, it was quite entertaining. There was a kid that always answered.’

Salva swallowed.

‘What happened?’

‘Well, he told me stories, he had a wide imagination. He said he was a mysterious prince. Other days, he was a dragon. It was so fun to read his stories. But mum came one day and said… she said that my friend had passed away.’

He laughed.

‘What do you find so funny?’

‘Nothing. I just… I find it weird that he is dead.’ He touched his knees, trying to make sure he was still there. However, she didn’t notice that. 

‘That was my point. I started receiving his letters again. 

‘What?’ Salva’s mood darkened.

‘What you are hearing. He wrote to me again. And I am worried because… I want him to be safe, but there are rumours that the Resistance is near and…

‘Shut up, shut up, shut up.’ He closed her mouth with his index finger. ‘How come he is writing back?’

‘Yes, I have his letters and…’

‘And how do you know it’s him? Do you even remember his handwriting?’

Raquel finally noticed how uncomfortable that toilet was: it was so small, that Salva’s questions needed a room of their own. 

‘No, all X letters are at my mother’s home. I haven’t read them ever since. God knows if they are still there after all.’

Salva smiled. 

‘X? You called him X?’

‘He never said his name. I had to imagine…’

‘Raquel.’

They looked at each other's eyes once more. She couldn’t read his, dark, but so full of overwhelming information. It seemed as if a hundred confessions wanted to explode in his eyes, but no words came out of his chest.

‘Don’t go, please’ he finally said.

‘Why?’ heat rushed through her body. Raquel, in her sweet innocence, thought it was anger. 

‘Don’t go, it’s a trap’

‘And what do you know about that?’ she hitted his chest, pushing him as far as that tiny room left them. Oh, but they were so close together. 

‘Please, Raquel, why do you trust him? Are you really that naive?’

‘What did you call me? You are a shit, Salva, did you know?’

‘Can’t you see what you are doing? You are trusting your life to a perfect unknown!’

‘But I know him! He is my friend!’ she screamed back, eyes all wet. ‘My only friend…’ she suddenly whispered.

‘And what the fuck am I then?’ he frowned.

‘You are no one. Let me out, Salva!’ she fought.

But he was holding her by her wrist, and wasn’t going to let her ruin her life.

‘Let me go! I hate you! I am going to run away, you know? This is my last night in this shitty school. So fuck you. Fuck everybody. Let me go.’ She squirmed.

‘You are going to dig your own grave, Raquel, Why the fuck can’t you understand that?’

He was so nervous. Having so weak defenses after seeing that picture was motive enough to make him lose control over his head. Now impulses had the wheels. 

‘You are the one that doesn’t understand! He is my last chance! He is the only one I’ve ever lov…’

Her words drowned in her throat. She didn’t even see him coming. Salva’s lips were now parting hers, while tears mixed in both of their cheeks.

It was like a ray running through her spine. Suddenly, she was more awake than ever. Her skin woke up in an instant, her whole body burst into flames. Her guts were going to explode due to that strange nervousness, or frustration, or both. Her legs couldn’t support her anymore. And he didn’t even open her mouth.

She moved back, looking for air, trying to keep him away with her hands, even though that tiny toilet couldn’t keep them apart. 

‘What the fuck are you doing? You! Out of everyone in this fucking planet, it had to be you! My seal, my… it had to be with him, with X, he is the one I …’

Salva shook his head.

‘Forget about him. That kid is dead.’

‘How do you even dare to…?’

Again. His lips rushed to eat hers’, shuting every nervous words of her, shuting her anger. Raquel lifted her hands onto his hair, that sweet hair she enjoyed so much minutes before, and finally opened her mouth, looking for air.

But he didn’t let her. His tongue found the tip of her palate, which provoked another shook of electricity in her body. She finally found the strength to savour his lips, and it felt like finding a fest. Like that breakfast in his bead. Like when he got her away from the monster of the walls. Like when she hugged him. Or like when he decided not to open the envelope with her pictures. Or like in that stupid fight at the door of his room, that almost ended… like that.

Their lungs couldn’t take it anymore, and they stopped for a few seconds. 

‘I hate you, you asshole, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…’

‘Okay…’ he sighted. HIs cheeks were lightened up, his hair was messy due to Raquel’s playful fingers. He was so handsome that it was finally Raquel who rushed to get his lips back into hers.

She couldn’t understand it, but she swore she never wanted to do anything else in her life but to kiss him. Was that it? That fairy tale thing? The love seal all stories talked about?

She couldn’t believe it either. She didn’t love Salva. She only loved one person in her life, she understood that now. And that person was her only real friend. But, why was she unable to let go of him?

‘Let me go, you stupid man…’ she mumbled.

‘Okay…’ he said, same hot tone as before, and they looked for each other’s lips again. Their tongues crossed, caressing each other, tempting each other. Salva caught her lower lip between his teeth, and her first moan ever scaped through her chest. Her legs trembled, and he noticed. His hands quickly found a path in her tights, he lifted her up and pressed her against the wall. She looked for a way to balance herself in his hair, pulling it hard. Due to all that intensity, they had to break the kiss once more.

Then she finally saw how much Salva had lost it. His face was the real poetry there, he only longed for her body, like a wounded animal looking for the warmth of another living thing. But she was no different. Her shirt was all messy, her hair was quite the same. Her lips were swollen, and a blush appeared in her face, in her chest, even behind her ears.

‘I hate you’ she moaned.

‘I know’ he answered.

She used his hair to pull him closer and he obeyed, kissing her again. As if they have been looking for each other since the day they were born. A bit curious, she mirrored Salva’s movement and bit his lip too. 

Same as she never expected to hear a man crying, she never expected that. A moan parted his throat and it was so deep, so animal, that she shivered as a leaf on the wind.

‘Why can’t you understand that?’ she complained, still against the wall, still held by his strong fingers in her tights. ‘My seal. My true love kiss, like in the fairy tales, it had to be him. Him, who told me about those tales, him, who wrote me all those poems. He was my prince charming. And he was the Prince of Sweet Despair until we’d find each other. His hospital was a grave, he said, but he was going to get back to the realm of the living if we finally met. Don’t you understand?’ She weep. ‘You’ve fucked it all. My tale, my story, my poem. Everything.’

They finally broke their contact, after all the sweet desperation in her words. Raquel really believed no one else was ever going to kiss her, that she lost her promise towards her friend X. And Salva was, to put it simple: heartbroken. Well, his heart was in his fist, the same fist that still hold his father’s picture, the deadly photograph that shut his rational mind for good, making him behave like such an asshole.

‘I can still find him. Bye, Salva. I will definitely miss you.’

Salva saw her getting out the window and had no strength to stop her. That kiss was his last chance, and it wasn’t even enough. She loved more a sick boy than the stupid man he was.

Ans the stupid man finished his poem in a whisper…:

_“...Still my grave smells_

_of the last kisses you gave_

_Still my pillow cries_

_longing your goodbye._

_Because I can only find you so far_

_that I scream your name and howl to the moon._

_I am desperation, all that is full,_

_I am what I am,_

_your prince,_

_the one of his sweet despair...”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are kudos are super well recieved, you guys make me super happy as always <3


	10. -No Chapter just bad news-

My dear English speakers mutuals,

From the bottom of my heart, I am imensely sorry for bringing you these news, but I can't find the strength to translate this fic weekly. It reminds me so much about my university deadlines and that is one of the many things that broke me.

Besides, this way, I can find motivation enough to upload new chapters in my mother tongue (spanish) every week, and actually finish this fic someday.

It will be available for all of you on wattpad under the name of "El Cuento de la Estudiante". Maybe you can use some google translator, or if you want to learn spanish, give it a try.

When this fic finishes and I find myself in better shape, I will translate it anyways.

Just, not right now.  
Thanks to all for reading and commenting, and again, sorry! I hope you can understand.

Lots of love,

Elen Jaxx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically i need (short, i hope, break).   
> The fic continues, the translations are on pause until I can focus again.   
> I am inmensely sorry!  
> If you give it a try in spanish and need some help with the expressions, feel free to dm me in any social media (@elen__jaxx). I will be glad to help.


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